riki.nishimura → twelve weeks

46

I grabbed it, the paper was scrunched up, and into quarters.

Despite the fragments, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together, flattening it out on the marble counter in urgency.

It was none other but her handwriting.

I read through the paper, my body feeling more helpless by the second. I had this heavy feeling sank in my stomach in my heart, as my doubts came true.

'Niki

I leave for Seoul today, I have spent twelve weeks here, you know, that is the entire summer with you. And each day and morning that I woke up, I felt complete, knowing you were here with me and we'd always see each other no matter what. I don't want to leave Jeju, but I..'

I finished reading the paper, realising she didn't even manage to finish her sentence. She didn't want to leave Jeju, but what?

Somehow, looking at this piece of paper made me feel more infuriated, and even betrayed.

She was going to leave anyways. I clenched my teeth together, utterly speechless and confused. If she hated Seoul so much, why would she decide to go back anyways?

I leant on the counter again, rubbing my face in exasperation for the, seemingly, 90th time. It was all so frustrating, and that frustration was blended with heartbreak.

I don't think a worse feeling has ever hit me since now.

I scrunched the paper back up into a ball, feeling nothing but pure resentment, throwing the paper back into the bin and walking out of my house.

Yes, I felt a little guilty getting rid of the only thing she left me, but then again, she left me without a word, without even a proper explanation.

I stormed across the neighbourhoods, ignoring all the grandmas and residents that told me 'good morning' or whatever. If it was a 'good morning', Yeojin would be with me right now.

But she wasn't, so it's not a good morning.

I tried to think of all the reasons she could've just left without saying anything, the note she left makes me feel like she did, like she wanted to tell me, but she just didn't know how.

I still really believed that she was in Jeju, maybe she was staying at a hotel nearby, or just walking around somewhere. I went everywhere, everywhere we were, everywhere we had a memory together.

As much as it hurt me, recalling the funny and cute memories of us two in these places, I just longed to see her hair bouncing in the sun. I wanted to see that smile of hers again, and even hear that laugh of hers.

It's weird how you begin to appreciate things more when they are gone.

If I knew she was here temporarily, I would've made sure she wouldn't of been able to leave.

I made it up to the hill, where the abandoned boat was parked, where we watched the night sky fall behind Saeron's back, and as I stood looking out into the view, I realised that she had hinted at leaving all this time.

Whenever I asked her, how long was she staying for, there'd never be an answer. Never. It'd be a vague answer, or a complete change of topic.

Why couldn't she just have told me?

What was she so scared of?

I groaned in frustration, feeling completely stranded in my thoughts. I looked down, anger coursing through my veins. I looked at my wrist, seeing the bracelets we both had.

It managed to somewhat ease me lightly, just remembering how she was so hesitant on buying matching bracelets for the sake of Saeron, but on her face, I could easily tell she wanted to match. It was weird, I knew everything about her, I could tell by her face, by her voice or by her posture, simply what she was feeling.

But over the recent days with her? I couldn't recognise anything was up? Seriously Niki?

Now that I put the pieces together, it all made sense why she was acting weird last night, completely unlike her to cry and act so melancholic.

I sighed, looking up and out into the sky, small droplets of rain fell onto my shoulders, and despite the rain being only small, it felt as if the whole world had crashed onto my body.

And I was trying to carry it on my back.

Goddamn it Yeojin, wait till I find you.