Escaping Iron-Gate

Cell Block D

Prison isn't too bad as long as you count out the uncomfortable beds, the dirty restrooms, the annoying bastards, the disgusting food, and the amount of homosexual activity. You can't even sit down for gruel in the afternoon or work out during the exercise period without someone commenting you about your physical stature in an intimate way. Aside from that all we have is a ping-pong table and a crappy cable television that belongs in the eighties. Then again, it's better than school. We have our minimum two hour outside requirement and I've been seeing improvements in myself.

Lately though, I've been seeing some rather...strange things. Just like any prison, you have the idiots who are always in Solitary, the normal ones with no rep like me, and the punks who everybody picks on because they're ranked as helpful. Well, I think the positions should be reversed, since the goody two-shoes ranked members seem to have a little cult. Seems this cult can get you drugs, shoes, things to break out, and somehow, damned Burger King. Can...can somebody please just answer me this?

How the FUCK do you smuggle Burger King into a maximum security prison hundreds of square kilometers away from any other establishment with a total of fifteen officers in each cell block and major room? Just...who the hell can do that?! Anyways, enough of my dumb remarks. I'm going to try and join this cult before the end of the month. If I can't, I'll just kill them with dumbbells and end up an idiot in solitary. As I said before, this place treats me better than most parts of society.

There is one downside though. It's Winter, and there's snow. That means the douchebag lieutenant is going to make sure half of our entire day is spent outside in nothing but our briefs. You've got that right, we'll be shoveling snow with no shoes. Anybody who stops gets the next three days in solitary. Isn't this place a palace of fun?