Thankful

Chapter 1

It's a Tuesday on a cold early November morning. There's a bit of snow just barely covering the ground. I'm wearing my very cozy and long lavender teddy coat today. I'm wearing a pair of pastel green jeans and a beige coloured nike sweater. I had no time to do much to my face today so all I had time for was some cc cream, mascara, eyebrows and a lipgloss. My very dark brunette wavy hair was down today and I had on my favourite perfume, prada candy. Today was gonna be a really good day.

Walking in to the coffee shop to get my matcha just like I do every day. I'm met with Pauline, smiling at me taking up my matcha from the counter. Me and Pauline have a bit of a thing I suppose. Well it's more of a situationship and I'm not sure what to do anymore. It's just ... nothing it's me trying to blow some steam off and me enjoying a good time. However I do know that this woman is falling in love with me and I am absolutely not falling in love with her. I feel like shit but I did tell her when we went out on our first date that I wasn't looking for anything serious as I was way to independent after everything I've been put through with my ex. I just find it impossible to get close to anyone or well more so that I make it impossible for people to get close to me because I'm really messed up after it all.

"Matcha Latte with oat milk, 3 vanilla syrup pumps" Pauline said as she handed me the drink. "Thanks Pauline, you're too kind" I answered and took the drink from her. "How are you today?" She asked me. "Oh I'm alright thank you. I'm a bit tired though because I had issues falling asleep but it's alright this matcha is gonna make up for it" I said yawning big time. She smiled at me "Can I take you out tonight? Just for a quick dinner?" She asked me as she was brewing some coffee. "Uhm yeah sure I don't think I have anything else planned today so yeah let's do that"  I answered as I started walking out from the coffee shop again. "Thank you for the matcha" I said and opened the door. "You're welcome baby. See you later" she said and waved as I was out of the shop.

Damn it I feel really guilty. I'm breaking her heart.. definitely playing with her.. although no she knew this. I find a taxi, jump in it and say the address to my work.

When I come in to the office I am greeted by so many people. And some I don't even know. "June! Meet Lena Mantler. We are doing a cover shoot for her today" and as I'm being introduced the most beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, sexy and out of this world kind of pretty. Her brown eyes makes me feel drunk and her lips makes me turn into puddle on the floor and her voice made my knees give out under me. This woman is not even real what the actual actually fuckity duck is this. I feel like she's a fever dream. I'm too stunned to talk. Im just standing there awkwardly looking at her. I think she caught on to the fact that I was staring as she smirked at me and winked. Dear god in heaven please help me behave right now. UNREAL. I pulled myself together and introduced myself to her "June, June Johnson, very nice to meet you" I said and put my hand out for her to greet. "It's very nice to meet you too" she says. Holding on to my hand a bit too long for it to just be polite.

The first thing I do when everyone's busy with the shoot and I'm just doing some work on the computer. I search up 'Lena Mantler' on google and up came that she is out as gay which made me smile internally. And then the not so good thing about her is that she has a girlfriend of two years. Fuck this is gonna be bad.

"Let's write down everything we need to have in this cover" my boss Mrs Aldrin said to us. "How's you and Pauline?" My coworker and one of my best friends, Lily asked. "We are not even a thing. Well at least not to me but I think I'm gonna break her heart... she seems really in love with me." I said. "And you really don't feel anything at all?" She asked "No I really don't.. I told her about it from the beginning you know? How I was NOT ready for anything serious and she was so fine and understanding" I answered. "And now?? She asked "Well I think she might be a bit into me but I'm not like 100% sure" I said. "Well if you aren't sure you need to have a chat with her so she doesn't get hurt. You don't wanna do that to her right?" She asked me "No I know... I know, I will have try and and have this conversation with her like today or something." I answered