𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍

Chapter Two

"What are you doing here?" I breathed, part of me unsure if he was even real or just a manifestation my unstable mind had conjured up.

He stepped forward, then stopped himself, "I came because I never should have let you find out like that." He squeezed his eyes shut, hiding away those brilliant emeralds I had come to love, "Father made these plans on his own, I had nothing to do with them."

I watched him for a moment, soaking in the desperateness in his voice, wondering why he had sounded so scared. "When did you find out?" I muttered, knowing the answer to that question was only going to hurt me.

"I-" He stumbled on his own words as his face betrayed him. It was clear he had hoped I wouldn't have asked. "Father called me to his chambers after I had returned from capturing the man who maimed Miss Ashton. He had mentioned marriage to me in passing before, but that was years ago and I told him I was not interested. I do not know why he suddenly decided to do this, let alone why he waited so long to tell me."

"Yet it seems you did not fight him on the matter." I thought, only angering myself further.

Had I not meant anything to him? Was I just a fling, destined to fizzle out once the excitement of his infatuation with me wore off? Had this truly been who he was all along or was it my anger talking? I wasn't sure, but those thoughts did not help anything.

"So you intentionally did not come by last night, not because you were busy. . . but because you were avoiding me?" Instant regret enveloped me as I cursed myself for even asking him the stupid question that had started all this. I was slowly succumbing to all the emotions I had repressed up until then, and I knew I was no longer capable of handling this the way I had wanted to.

"Y-you let me find out in such a horrid way because you were too much of a coward to tell me yourself?" I blurted out, throat burning and eyes brimming with tears, "Risked me potentially exposing my feelings for you and bringing shame upon myself out of shock because it was easier to just let your father break my heart instead of doing it yourself?"

"That's not. . . I did not mean for it to happen like this!" He tried to come closer, but I threw my hand up to stop him.

"You think I have not noticed the distance you have maintained from me once I stepped in the room?" I clenched my jaw as I took a deep breath in through my nose in an attempt to steady myself, "Henry. . . just go ahead and tell me it is over if that is what you have come to do. I have grown tired of playing guessing games when it comes to the feelings and intentions of others."

He stood there silently for a moment, conflict written all over his face. And I knew exactly what he was fighting with himself about. The anger that once had a hold of me fizzled out at the sight of his beautiful face twisting in pain. Pain that was no doubt caused by me. I had never wanted to treat him in such a cruel way, yet somehow, I managed to do the opposite. Though, I suppose that made us even.

"Choose your duty." I finally said in a soft voice, forcing his green eyes to look upon me.

"But I-"

"I never intended on making you choose between me and what you have been working towards your whole life." I held his gaze, swallowing my pain and anger, "I just wanted to love you. But that is no longer possible."

"Emma. . . I never said I would accept any of the women he sent for, or that we were over." He finally stood before me, closing that awful distance which had found its way between us, though I feared it was much too late.

"You never said the opposite either." I reached up and gently cupped his face with my hands, "Let us stop here, before they arrive, and hearts end up broken." I forced myself to say, though I shattered what was left of my heart by saying it.

I wanted to be selfish for once, to disregard all the reasons why I shouldn't have and force him to choose me, his duty be damned. But I was not that person, nor would I ever be.

"I do not want to give you up." His voice cracked as his eyes glistened with tears, "Not when I have just found you."

My heart sank, and I fought every urge to abandon reason, to take him in my arms and never let go. I knew that if we continued on, we would have only ended up hurting each other more. It was not long until his potential brides were supposed to arrive, and I did not have the time to wait for him to decide between me and them. Not when I was still in the middle of trying to win my own freedom.

"Perhaps I was not the one you were meant to find." I let his face go and turned away to hide my tears.

"Why are you pushing so hard for me to just give up?" He sounded hurt, but I did not look at him, knowing I'd back down, "It's as if you have already done so yourself long before you walked in this room and found me here. I was up all-night thinking about this, about what to say to you and how to make it so that we survive this. But it seems as if I was the only one truly in love between the two of us since I am the only one fighting."

I wanted to correct him, to tell him I had wanted to fight for us, but he was partially right. I had given up on us the moment his father announced his potential brides. But, perhaps him being angry with me, thinking I had not been in love with him, would save me from the heartbreak of watching him fall in love with a Princess that was better than me in every way. That was the real reason I had wanted to put a stop to what we were. I just did not want to admit it.

"I will take my leave since you have made your feelings very clear." It sounded as if he were crying, though I tried to convince myself otherwise.

The sound of each step he took felt like I was being stabbed, forcing me to forget how to breathe as I wished none of it had been real. I wanted to chase after him, to stop him before it was too late. But I had already hurt him, and things were better off this way.

Once he came to a stop before the hidden door, I heard him let out a shaky breath before his voice resonated through the room one last time, "I wish you nothing but happiness, even if that happiness does not include me."

The door shut behind him and I fell to my knees, sobbing loudly as I realized what my foolish pride and fear had just cost me.

All I had to do was believe in him, trust in him, but for some reason I could not bring myself to do it.

To risk it all for love.