Star-Crossed ✔️

18

made a new cover
kinda hate it
help

- 18 -

I woke to banging at my door.

My head was pounding. I had only fallen asleep maybe three hours ago. There was a late night sitcom marathon that I tried to blame for the lack of sleep, but it was more than that. I knew that much.

The banging continued and I resisted the urge to scream. My feet carried me across the room and I opened the door, unimpressed by the sight of Joey. He looked equally as displeased to see me, though his face held a familiar anger I was used to receiving.

"It's really not a good time," I grunted.

Joey rolled his eyes and peered behind me. "What, you got a girl in there or something?"

This time, my eyes rolled and I tried to shut the door in his face but he stopped it. "Seriously, Joey. Whatever the fuck I did to piss you off, I'm sorry. But I can't deal with you today," I said, holding an intense stare off with the man. His expression softened, only a little.

"What happened with Russo?"

My body reacted at the mention of his name. I felt goosebumps float down my legs and an unwanted roll of my stomach. Instantly, I glanced at his door and wondered if he was okay. Or if he was even in there. What if he had left last night and went on some disgusting bender? I felt like I was going to throw up.

I looked back at Joey with a scowl. "Why don't you ask him?" I snapped, this time successfully slamming the door in his face. I could hear him sigh through the wood. My last show in New York was tonight but I was in no mood to act like everything was fine. Tomorrow I was going to go on Lights Out with Rudy, which I was excited for when Joey suggested, but now I dreaded it. He was going to ask me about Noah and I had very little nice things to say about him at the moment.

My plan was to avoid Noah for as long as I possibly could before we had to get back on the bus together. It made me sick to my stomach to think that he knew how I felt now. It was all out in the air. Maybe if I was lucky, he would book a ticket home and leave me alone for good this time.

I didn't do anything all day except play video games on the bus and get ready for soundcheck. In the off chance that Noah stepped onto the bus, I was planning to get up and leave. I couldn't look at him. I needed space.

Maybe that made me a shitty friend. But he was, too. I would never do what he did to me, sober or drunk.

I didn't know what breaking sobriety did to your brain. Did it make you hurt people? Did it delete any sense of empathy from your body? What the hell could have triggered him to relapse last night? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him even though it made me physically nauseous?

He didn't come onto the bus. I actually didn't see him all night. When I expected him to hang out with Chris after the show, he was still holed up in his room. I only knew because Joey told me he checked on him between soundcheck and the show. It stung to know he wasn't making any efforts to seek me out and apologize—sober, that is—but I wouldn't have heard him out anyways. At least not right away.

The next day, the same uneventful passing of time occurred. I wasted time, packing my things from the hotel room and loading the bus to prepare for tonight. Right after Rudy's show, we were to board the bus and head to New Jersey. I knew it was literally a thirty minute drive from here to there, but we were only there for two days so we'd be sleeping on the bus. Which meant confrontation was unavoidable.