The Other Maid of Hilgard's Castle

Patricia laid back on the couch, her head lying sideways on the leather armrest, turned towards her television, which was on a commercial break. As much as she hated reruns, watching Annie of the Stars usually cheered her up - at least a little bit. Yet, it didn’t seem to be doing so today. In fact, it seemed to have the opposite effect, making her even more sad. 

Patricia wasn't having a very good day today, not ever since she looked in the mirror this morning. It was rare that she actually cared about the way she looked, it wasn't any of their business as far as she was concerned, but it was particularly bothering her today. 

The show resumed and so did the Girl of the Stars’ heroic antics, and Patricia tried to refocus away from her woes.

Yet, she couldn't. There was definitely something about Annie that Patricia couldn’t help to compare herself too, considering that they were likely similar in age (probably… canon was never exactly clear on the subject, leading to her just assuming that to be the case), though she couldn’t put her finger on what exact aspects she was making the comparison. 

Maybe she wanted to dye her hair turquoise? Where would she even get the hair dye from? There isn’t a lot of trade coming into Rommelgrad, and even if there was, it was unlikely she could acquire a luxury item such as that. 

But that wasn’t it. Patricia liked her hair color, the bright red color seemed to compliment her. It was one of the few things about herself that she definitively liked. What was it then?

Patricia bounced around various ideas in her head and compared herself to Annie, and yet, she couldn’t come up with any major differences between the two. Well… except for the one she couldn’t seem to not focus on. 

Annie was born a girl. Patricia was not. 

It wasn’t something she thought about a lot, it wasn’t like there was anybody left to remind her of that fact. She passed extremely well, though, so the only people who really knew were Hilgard, who respected her and tried his best to accommodate her, and her best friend Marie, who she trusted with this piece of information.  

She never really matched up to traditional feminine beauty standards, generally dressing rather boyishly, opting for her favorite t-shirt (official Annie of the Stars merchandise, mind you), a pair of shorts a size too large which required her to pair it with some suspenders and her large flat cap. While she was often mistaken for a boy while in public, she always corrected the matter and received an apology. 

Yet it still hurt, even if it was a little bit. 

Patricia couldn't help but stew on this train of thought for a while, not really paying attention to her show at this point. 

Her stream of consciousness was interrupted by a pair of quiet footsteps getting closer, followed by the feeling of something plopping on the couch next to her. Patricia looked away the TV towards the source of this, seeing that Marie had sat down next to her, finally finished with her daily chores around the castle.

“Did I miss anything good?” Marie asked, crossing her leg over the other and smiling down at her friend, making herself comfortable on the couch. 

“Nah…” Patricia replied, her voice not doing a good job hiding her melancholy, “I’ve just been watchin’ Annie.” 

Marie, always one to notice when her friend wasn’t quite feeling herself, caught on to her friends emotional state rather quickly. “Is everything alright Patricia?” she asked. 

Patricia sighed, looking at the ceiling. “Just not feelin’ all that great today…”

“Would you like to talk about it Patricia?”