It all started on a cloudy day in the world, when suddenly spud spotted her ex-boyfriend lettuce-tango on the train opposite her.
She was very surprised to see him because he had told her he was moving to animal farm to become a dosser after faking his own death and getting all the insurance wonga.
Spud was not upset by seeing him because his ball-sack head had got even wrinklier meaning he was now the dosser king; spud thought about getting back together with him for the money but she couldn't face faking any more orgasms with him.
Later into the train journey spud saw that his friends were sat behind him fanning him with a pine cone; spud knew that this was harsh because he made them work for way less than the minimum wage and the working conditions were more dangerous than shaldon wildlife trusts category 1 monkeys and meerkats. But he didn't care as he wouldn't go to jail for it because he was sleeping with every judge there; he especially enjoyed liking the rim of the plastic cups in the courtroom.
Spud was fed up of looking at his ugly face, old majors bum hole was better looking, so she decided to get off the train.
Lettuce-tango did not wake up in time for his stop so got deported to shapalinki where he would be forced into prostitution, which he would pretend to hate but actually loves.
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What will happen next in spuds crazy life read on to find out.
