Right one at the wrong time

Before the turquoise carpet

Chapter 13:

The next day’s rehearsals for the Eurovision Song Contest came to an end, and Konstrakta, still struggling with the remnants of her disturbing dream, was grateful for the hectic pace of her work. So far she had successfully managed to avoid thinking about the dream all day. She threw herself into her work, focusing intently on every detail of the performance which was a welcome distraction from the turmoil in her head.

As the final rehearsal concluded, Kosta, always the voice of reason in their group, approached Konstrakta. “We’ve done great today. Maybe it’s time to take a breather, relax a bit?” he suggested, watching her with a mixture of concern and admiration.

Konstrakta, suddenly feeling a surge of unease at the thought of some time off, replied hastily, her voice tinged with irritation, “Why stop now? We could go through the routine once more, or maybe revisit the costume design? There’s always room for improvement.” Her words were sharp, more a reflection of her inner unrest than any real need for further practice.

The others exchanged alerted glances. After a few seconds of silence, it was Marija who eventually stepped forward. “Ana, you’ve been pushing us hard, and it’s paid off. But we’re all feeling the strain. Maybe a short break would do us good, you know, to clear our heads?”

With a reluctant nod, Konstrakta conceded. “Fine, a break then.” A grim wrinkle appeared across her forehead, because she knew they were right but the thought of facing her thoughts without the distraction of work was unsettling.

As they exited the hall, walking through the familiar corridors, Ana's heart sank. Ahead, near the entrance, she spotted the woman from her nightmare and her troupe. It really was as if she was chasing her. How was it possible that no matter where she went or what she did, that little blonde always came round the corner. But the sight triggered much more in the Serbian woman. It was like a jolt that revived the confusion and frustration she had felt in her dream.

Marija, noticing Cornelia, lit up. She had enjoyed a pleasant chat with Cornelia the day before and found her manner very refreshing. “Oh, look, it’s Cornelia and her team! She was so lovely yesterday. Let’s go say hi!” Her enthusiasm was evident, her admiration for Cornelia’s song clear in her voice.

Ana's irritation spiked. She tried to keep her voice even as she responded, “I’d rather not. I’m just really tired, that’s all.”

Marija, puzzled, looked at her. “Is everything okay? You seem a bit off. It’s not like you to pass up a chance to mingle, especially with fellow artists.” Before Ana could answer, she added: “You don’t have anything against Cornelia, do you? You two had a good chat yesterday, didn’t you?”

The dark haired woman with her piercing blue eyes struggled to maintain her composure as she insisted, “It’s nothing, really. Just the fatigue talking. It has nothing to do with Cornelia. I barely know her.”

Kosta, who had quietly listened to the entire conversation, now added, “Hang on, you also seemed a bit cold towards her during the press conference. What’s all that about?”

The more the whole conversation focussed on Cornelia, the more annoyed Ana became. She gritted her teeth trying to denying any animosity. After taking a deep breath, she replied in a casual tone, “No, not at all. It was just a bad day. And right now, I simply don’t feel like socializing. That’s all. I think I’ll head back to my room.”

She hoped desperately that Cornelia hadn’t noticed her from afar as she turned to make her way to her room. As her band members headed towards Cornelia’s group instead, Ana's frustration deepened. Their decision to approach Cornelia’s group irked her. The idea of them getting along so well with someone she found irksome was frustrating. She couldn’t fathom their fascination with Cornelia, whom she found overly enthusiastic and somewhat grating.

Ana's mind raced as she walked away. It wasn’t just about avoiding Cornelia now; it was about her own group seeing in Cornelia what Ana couldn’t, or perhaps wouldn’t, see. The notion that she might be the odd one out in her distaste for Cornelia’s demeanor was even more unsettling. And how was she supposed to avoid her or explain her behaviour when her entire team started hanging out with the Swedes now?

Every further step to her room was incredibly difficult for her so she walked incredibly slowly by her standards. The thought of finally having to confront herself with her thoughts was the very thing she had been dreading all day. It was all so much. The dream, the rehearsals, her band’s growing fondness for Cornelia, the lack of interest from her husband who didn’t even try to call her after not having heard from her the whole day yesterday, and then of course the fucking Eurovision song contest she definitely wanted to win. A few seconds after having that thought, her mobile phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her side pocket and unlocked the screen.

“All good?”

It was a message from her husband. No emojis. No more questions. Not a word about how he and the children were doing. Nothing else. Almost unconcerned and without any emotion, she replied dryly:

“Yes. And you guys?”

Right now she wasn’t even capable of being angry or disappointed. She had probably subconsciously not expected anything more from him anyway. But perhaps it was also a kind of self-protection to keep all her feelings to a minimum so as not to lose her ground below her feet completely. Especially not now.

“Yes, everyone is fine here.”

After reading that, she stuffed her mobile phone back into her pocket and continued to walk. But before she could reach her room she heard a familiar voice calling her name. It was Marija, who came running down the hallway behind her, slightly out of breath. Ana stopped, half-turning, as the other woman caught up to her.

“Ana, wait! You won’t believe what I just heard from Cornelia and her group,” Marija exclaimed, her eyes sparkling and her voice laced with excitement. Ana once again felt a twinge of annoyance at the mention of Cornelia’s name.

“Tomorrow is going to be the turquoise carpet.”

“Yes, I know,” replied Ana with a puzzled look. After all, this was not new information.

Marija continued. “Yes, but what we forgot is that tomorrow is also THE half-term party afterwards in the evening for all the artists. It’s like a big celebration, and we’re all expected to be there.”

Her mind raced with the thought of having to attend a social event where Cornelia would be present. She first felt the urge to ask Marija if she knew whether Cornelia would be there too, and then not attend the party. But of course she would be there too and Ana also knew how petty and childish that would sound. She couldn’t let Cornelia, or her feelings about her, influence her decisions.

With a forced nod, Ana replied, “Of course, we’re going. It’s important to be part of these events.” Her voice was steady. Marija, oblivious to Ana's inner turmoil, continued enthusiastically. “It’s going to be so much fun! All the artists and teams together. It’s going to be a great networking opportunity too!”

Ana answered with a half-smile. “Yes, networking,” she echoed, her mind already strategizing how to navigate the party without unnecessary interactions with Cornelia. The event would be crowded, providing her with many opportunity to mingle with others and maintain a comfortable distance.

As they parted ways, Ana reassured herself that attending the party was the right decision. She wouldn’t let her personal feelings hinder her professional obligations. And who knows, she thought, trying to find a silver lining, maybe it will be good for her after all. That night, she would be Konstrakta, the artist, fully in control and unswayed by personal conflicts.