Rise & Fall Of A Don (On Hold)

Chapter 29

Narration: I know what yall are thinking. He got the money, the woman, the kid and family, so what else could go wrong. Her fucking baby's daddy, that's what could go wrong. Little did I know that he was out there building some strong ties. He was coming for me. Remember when my dad said that he would go away and not come back until I needed him, and I said that I would never need him. Well, I needed him. A lot of shit went sideways. I lost friends and family members. I was betrayed in the worst way. I didn't think Sasha's betrayal could be surpassed but it was. I wanted to hate Jensen. I wanted to hate Sasha, at first. I wanted to say, to hell with them both. But man. The kid did a number on my heart. And to be honest. I blamed my mother with her affectionate ass. As it turned out, I didn't fully harden my heart. I couldn't. My boys, my crew, Sasha, Jenson. It's what brought about my downfall.

Sasha Pov

The next morning when I woke up Jensen and Tommy were gone to register Jensen for school.

What Tommy said was heavy on my mind. Have I not been a good mother to Jen? I take care of him. I feed him. What more can I do? I think about it more. I think about it deeper. I've never really felt the need to tuck him in. No. I never felt the need to do the things that a mother should, I guess. I guess in some way I've always resented him.

I gasped as that realization hit me. Tears came to my eyes as I dug deeper and deeper. I told myself that I protected him from his father. I was on the run for years because I didn't want him to end up in his father's clutches. But all that didn't amount to how neglectful I've been. I'm a horrible mother. I'm a horrible person. I went out to my bedroom's patio door. I stared out over the neighborhood, thinking.

When I was younger. I've always wanted to move to the country. I never liked the city. I hated it. I want to fish in a lake. Ride a horse. Raise farm animals. I wonder if Tommy would consider moving to the country. How can our children play outside without me thinking the worst? How can they ride their bikes? It gives me anxiety to think about them getting hit by cars while they are out here playing. Yes, we have a gate but since the front yard isn't that big there's no room to ride bikes or put up a tire swing.

Hours later when they returned, I said, "Jen, Jen. Can I see you outside on the patio, please." I nodded to Tommy. He said, "Is everything ready for the yacht party?"

I nodded. "Yes, I will send the decorators to decorate and get everything settled soon." He nodded and went to his office.

I grabbed Jenson's hand and made my way outside.

"Jensen, I need to explain a couple things to you."

"Ok."

I grabbed his hand as tears came to my eyes as the ramifications of the situation hit me hard. I have scared my son without even realizing it. A deep scar. I had him doubting himself, doubting my love.

"Jensen...." I became choked up. How could I not have realized this? I guess on some level I did. I know a child needs certain affections but..but. I couldn't bring myself to.. to. I breathed out.

"Jenson, your father sexually assaulted me."

He nodded. I was a little surprised that I didn't have to explain the meaning to him. Jenson has always been very curious. In the beginning when he was 2-years old he'd always asked a bunch of questions. I constantly shushed him and told him to be quiet and stop asking so many questions. I was dead wrong, but he reminded me so much of Adam then. I didn't want to look at him, let alone talk to him.

"He..he went to jail because that kind of thing is illegal. But..but." I couldn't control my tears. After 5 years, this is still hard to talk about. I'm glad Adam drugged me, so I didn't see his face as he was over me, raping me. The only reason I knew who he was because he always came to the bar asking me out. The last thing I remember was him sliding in the seat next to me. He asked me something and I turned away from him. Leaving my drink vulnerable. It was bad enough I had to see him in the courtroom. The bartender also saw him but something in my glass, so he testified as well.