A love he never wanted

Will you be able to look back and smile

Aurora's POV

When you are old and gray; with more time behind you, then there is in front of you. Will you be able to look back at your life and smile?

Will you look back and be proud of the life you have built?

Will you see yourself surrounded by family? Children, a husband, maybe grandkids?

Everything you hope to see all depends on the roads you take, the decisions you make.

Did you love, more then you were loved? Did you help more then you hurt others?

As I sit here, alone. On our beautiful balcony, in our perfect townhouse. These are the questions I'm asking myself.

Seven months ago, I thought I was taking the right path. I was unbelievably happy. I thought this was going to be forever.  I thought we could get through anything together.  We'd be good for each other.  We would balance each other out.  That's how it has been. Until recently.

The hardest part about asking myself these questions is that I wanted it all with Gio.  Without him I don't want any of it.  I don't want marriage, kids or a home.  Without Gio those things don't exist.

I don't see it being possible to have it all WITH Gio either. Not the way things have been going. 
I said I would support him, that I would love him no matter what he did.   His life with me was also suppose to be separate from his Mafia life.  I wasn't to be involved.  It would keep me safe.

In the last two weeks, he was almost killed because of me.   I was almost kidnapped, and just had someone planning my demise.  Not one part of any of that is me being separated from his Mafia life.

"Aurora!"  

Silence.  I hear his footsteps get closer.

"Aurora?"  He steps through the door, slowly, deciding how to approach me.  I look up from my glass of white wine that I have been nursing for two hours.  "Baby?  I was calling you.  Why didn't you answer me?"  He squats down in front of me, and I just shrug a shoulder. I look back down at my glass.  Wanting to see my face  he pushes my chin up with the side of his index finger.  At his touch I break down.  Quiet sobs pour from me.  Im trying so hard to hold them in.  He takes my glass and places it on the end table next to me.  He picks me up bridal style. "Baby you're frozen!"  Instead of sitting back down with me, he heads inside and right to our master bathroom.  He sits me on the vanity top, kisses my forehead and then goes to the over sized bath tub.  He turns the knobs to hot, and puts the stopper in place to make me a bath with lavender bath salts.  

He gets out two,  extra large white fluffy towel. He checks the bath temperature before getting undressed   leaving his dirty suit in a pile on the floor, simply just kicking it to the side.  

"Baby?"  I look up at his face.  the wrinkle between his eyes seems to be becoming more permanent,  his darkness under his eyes showing his exhaustion.  His normally combed to perfection hair an utter mess.  But he is still beautiful regardless.  

"Hmm?"

"Can I take your clothes off?  you need to warm up quick, and a bath will do that."  I nod my head, lifting my arms above my head so he can take my shirt off.  He reaches the hem of my shirt lifting it up, I feel his warm hands as the brush past my rib cage.  He wraps his arms around my back and lays one sweet kiss to my shoulder as he unhooks my bra.  He pulls the straps down my arms and throws it in the growing pile of clothes on the floor.  Pulling me to my feet, he then kneels down in front of me pulling down my sweat pants and panties.  I hold on to his shoulders to keep my balance as I step out of them, and he pulls my socks off as well.  When hes done he stands up right.  "Can you jump for me?"  I nod.  "Jump" I do as he lifts me by my thighs and I wrap my legs around his waist.  As he steps into the tub one foot at a time, he leaves kisses around my cheeks and forehead.  He sits in the tub, with me still wrapped around him.  Shutting the water off before laying his back on the tub.  Pulling me down with him, I lay my head on his chest.