When You Find Me...

One - Riley

There his is. The one and only Josh Brand, my funny (and very attractive) crush. Not to be confused with my uncle Josh. Ew. Well I mean like ex-crush I guess. I mean I-I-I'm totally over him. At least I should be. But I'm kinda getting the feeling that feelings like to linger on, like they never truly stop even if you really, really, want them too. Josh, umm, got a girlfriend. Like a real one. I should've guessed they would eventually be together.

Oh no. I must have been staring to long. Maya's looking at me weird. "Riles, you okay? I saw you crying yesterday. Is it about Josh and Kendall? Who do I need to fight?" Oh Maya. My wonderful, overprotective best friend Maya. "I'll be okay Maya. I'm over it. We were never going to be together anyway," I somehow managed to choke out. Maya saw the lie. "Are you sure?" I swallowed and promised. Another lie.

"Good. I only want you to be happy and that boy would never make you happy," Maya said calmly, although I could tell she wasn't buying it. But she was right. Josh wouldn't make me happy. He makes me miserable. So why do we love the things that hurt the most?

All my life, the only thing I ever wanted was love. Someone to hold me, someone to talk to, someone who adored me just as much as I adored them. And for some reason the only thing I don't have is love. Every time I get attached to someone they run away. It's my fault I know. I fall in love with strangers who love to break hearts, but they seem so nice. I guess I need to learn that the world is not nice. Boys are just trouble. Handsome, smart, funny, nice, trouble.