Every morning
I wake up like routine
Like clockwork
Like a motor, a machine
I start the game of pretence
Practice my smile as I think of jumping the fence
I touch myself thinking of
My imaginary lover
Naked, vulnerable, no covers
Boiling in my own heat
Drowning in my sweat
I see I am wet but not the happy kinda wet
Afternoon
Tea, broken cups, broken hearts
I can't figure out which one's worse
I can't eat as I stuff my face
With food tasting like brass
I chug my tea to ease the pain
Think of staying positive but I just can't...
Can't cope, can't hope
It's over. It's done.
Feeding myself this poison that
My life is dope
Evenings
I hope will be calm
But there's a storm coming
My mind takes me on dusty roads
I've travelled a million times
Alarm bells ringing in my ear, not pretty chimes
Roads where I walk all alone
Desperate to see you once more
Desperate to hear the words
I love you, I miss you
I can't live without you
But I give up cz I will be alone
Its written in stone
At night
The silent screams
Grow louder and louder
Waterfalls that cloud my mind
Darkness under my eyes
Blackness that binds
I escape into the light emanating from my phone
Late nights spent hushing the tones
And then I give in to it
Take me away I pray, Take.
I dont want it no more
Just take me away please
I beg you. Have mercy. I sleep half awake.
Feb 2024
