Head pounding in his skull, he turned to look beside him, his sisters hanging upside down in the car seat just like him. On his other side, Beomgyu. He couldn't see his parents very clearly but the pooling blood was so apparent against the grey of the car. He didn't know who was alive and who was beyond saving. With his heart shattering in his chest, he turned to the only sense of safety he was holding onto.
"Hyung..." His weak hands made its way to the older boy's shoulder, having to muster strength he didn't know he had for the simple action.
He didn't budge.
"Hyung!" He tried again, tears gathering in his eyes. He could hear- no, feel the flames. The car was on fire. "Hyung, wake up!"
The loud noise of the explosion was the last thing he heard, as his vision went black.
"Kai!"
He woke up with a jolt, immediately sitting up on the bed as the young man sat on the bed next to him. His whole body trembled as his minds caught up to the actual events following the fateful incident. Beomgyu had woken up and dragged them both out of the car and got them to a good distance before the car exploded. A couple of travelers who were on the remote highway had spotted them later and called the authorities getting them help.
He was safe.
"Kai-ah," He threw himself into Beomgyu's arms as he sobbed, shaken to the core. The incident had taken place a year ago. And yet it was still so fresh in his mind. He remembered that day so clearly.
"Alrighty, who's ready to go to your grandmothers?" His mom spoke in a singsong voice as she styled Bahiyyih's hair. Lea was getting ready in her room, Beomgyu and his dad loading stuff into their van. Kai was stuffing some things into his duffel bag haphazardly, moving across the house in search of what he wanted.
"Are the girls ready?" His dad had poked his head through the front door and asked just as Lea came downstairs.
"We are," Lea began, gesturing towards Kai with her chin. "Not sure he is though."
"Why do you need harry potter robes?" Bahiyyih deadpanned as he glared at her, violently stuffing the black material into his bag.
"I'm not carrying that." Beomgyu spoke from beside his dad, making him project his glare to the older boy.
"I can carry my things myself thank you very much."
It was supposed to be just a fun family trip to their grandparents' house. Kai had just graduated from high school and Beomgyu had gotten into SNU, and everyone wanted to celebrate. It was Kai's idea to go to their grandparents' place. It was his idea to make a fun little road trip out of it. If he hadn't may be then his family would still be complete.
It was all his fault.
Despite having Beomgyu backing him up and supporting him after the death of his parents and sisters, he felt so lonely. He was used to having a doting mother, a supporting father, and teasing sisters. He needed them to survive. But in a split second, he had lost it all.
In a split second, he was all alone.
A split second was all it took for the young boy's fate was set in place: to be lonely for the rest of his days.
The sensation of hands caressing his back and head brought him back to the present, his eyes settling on his brother, the only person he had left.
"So, I ask you again," The lecturer skipped to the next slide on the presentation. "What is the true message behind this story?"
'Tragedy,' Kai thought. 'Tragedy outweighs all others. It is the story of a delusional man.'
"Kai?" He was snapped out of his thoughts as the professor spoke to him. "What do you think?"
"That dreams are never attainable." He spoke quietly. The entire hall was in silence, so his voice reached everyone's ears pretty easily. "There is no 'one dream' you can achieve. He was so into making his dream a reality, he lost touch with the actual reality. And his journey towards said dream only destroyed him within and ultimately gets abandoned by the love he was so desperately worked for."
"That is very good," The professor smiled, satisfied with his answer.
"Tragedy, it follows you to even the core of your imagination." The air grew thick as Kai spoke. "The novel also depicts realism, modernism and also satire, in a way."
The professor cleared his throat awkwardly and praised him for the good work, returning to his lecture. Kai wasn't paying attention anymore, his mind spiraling with bitter thoughts.
The common area was bustling with students as they chattered among themselves, snacking or just socializing. The more studious groups were at the tables near the windows, discussing various topics among themselves. Kai was sitting on the couch far into a corner of the huge hall. No one ever prefers to sit there as the light from the huge windows barely reach there and it was directly under the huge air conditioner, making it way too cold. Kai didn't mind though. It was his spot.
His soft brown eyes bore into the groups of university students who laughed among themselves, clinging onto each other. A scoff left his lips as he took a bite out of his sandwich, glare redirected to the wall in front of him, almost digging holes through it.
Lonely.
When he was younger, before...the incident he was a social butterfly. He got along with everyone, able to connect with them through anything. When he graduated, he had to opt to getting signs on his uniform after his year book had run out of space. Everyone loved him and he didn't feel like his soul was sucked out of his body whenever he had to speak to someone.
Now, he was just...him. He knew no one except Beomgyu.
The older boy had dropped out of college, having to go work to support the both of them. Not surprisingly, with his impressive skill set and past records he had landed in a decent paying job, instead of having to work multiple jobs paying below minimum wage. Kai had offered to get a job or two as a barista or server or even in a factory, but Beomgyu had shut down the idea. And Kai never disobeyed his brother.
Walking home that evening was supposed to be just as uneventful as it was yesterday and the day before yesterday and the day before that and so on. His trauma not allowing him to be on any type of transportation vehicle, he always walked home. It was a thirty-minute walk and he didn't mind the fresh air and relaxing feeling it gave him.
But today was different.
A knife was pressed against his throat as his back dug into the wall behind him. He squirmed as he felt the dirty grime and liquids seep into his clothes, but quickly froze when he felt the sharp metal graze against his skin.
"Give me all your money and I'll let you go-."
He closed his eyes, praying that he didn't have to fight another lonely fight.
"You there! What are you doing??!" A voice yelled out sharply making the robber tense up. "Get away from him!"
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