Lost in The Past

Dying to be With You

~Two months have passed and Zelra passed away from cancer. Clarice is devastated and is now going to a therapist~

I could hardly see anything, the world around me was getting dark. All I remember is the ambulance carrying me into their truck and my cousin holding my hand while crying. "Check her heart rate and make sure she is breathing correctly." The man said. About an hour later I woke up in a hospital bed and saw my cousin, Julia, sitting in a chair next to me.

'What happened?'

'Y-you tried killing yourself'

Then I remembered. The death of Zelra and all the other events that have happened to me pressured me and made me absolutely depressed. I remember taking the razor that I always use to harm myself and slicing my wrists, and deep. I sat in the bathtub, crying, and whispered "I'm coming, zeze pie". Chills ran down my spine and I started getting dizzy. "How much longer does she has to stay in here, doctor?" My cousin asked with a worried tone on her voice. "Just a few more nights, but I want her to start going to therapy, she needs it". I started opening my eyes and looked around. "I need something to eat, please." I say. "Okay, baby doll" Julia replies and walks out of the room to which I yell "remember, I'M VEGAN!!". "How do you feel, Miss. Lecter?" The doctor asks with a sincere look on his face. "Hungry, depressed, and drowsy." I reply with a small smile on my face. "The medicine is causing the drowsiness, your cousin is getting you food, and I'm getting you a therapist for your depression" the doctor says. "Sounds dandy, Mandy" I reply and chuckle. The doctor smirks and chuckles at me. "At least you have a sense of humor, I must say." The doctor says while chuckling. "Very true" I reply. The silence in the room causes things to get very awkward, thank god a few moments later my cousin walks back in with food. "I took the liberty of driving to wonderland cafe and picking you up your favorite meal there. Grilled cheese with a side of sweet potato fries!" She says with a smile on her face. "Thank you. I remember the first time I had this.. It was with Zelra." I say with a soft look on my face. The memory causes me to start crying so my cousin comes over to comfort me. "It'll be okay, darling.. It'll be okay." She says while playing with my hair. A few hours later after I had finished eating I went to sleep, I was exhausted.

~A month later~

"So, how have you been, clarice?" Ms. Evelyn, my therapist asks. "I'm alright, I just miss zelra so much.." I reply with a choked up voice. "I realize there have been horrible things that happened to you, may we talk about it?" She asks. I shake my head yes and try to get comfortable. "When I was about 13 my ex boyfriend, jason, r-raped me in front of his friends. This was about the 3rd time I have been raped.." I say, while studdering a bit. "And when was the first time, may I ask?". "You may... I was 12, it was my close friend Eric who did it. That's all I feel like saying." I say. She shakes her head in understandment and looks at her watch. "I believe our session is up. I'm going on a 2 month vacation so I won't be able to see you for awhile. Have a great day, clarice" she says with a sincere look on her face. " You too" I say with a soft smile on my face and walk out. I walk home in silence.