Is That You Ozo?(A Brandon Works Angst Oneshot)

FUCK

I was too late. Late? I'm never late. I'm late. But then what the hell was I supposed to do? I was meant to save him. I was supposed to. I did, didn't I? Where did I go wrong? I did everything I thought I was supposed to. I was there for him, wasn't I?

I open my binder, note after note. Nothing made sense. Everything was supposed to fall into place, but even after I unjumbled it, it didn't make sense.

My computer, to the NPC that had told me Brandon died. I wasn't helping it at all. I had treated him as if he was already dead. What is wrong with me? What convinced him that this was a good idea. Why did he leave me like this. Like a selfish bastard. I left the others behind. Just for him. How could he do this to me?
~~~~
I ended the screen recording. Next thing I knew, I had posted the most traumatic moment of my life on YouTube for the world to see. I'm a fool.

Funny, isn't it? Ozo, a fool. Tainting the blood of my perfectly good name with failure.

I flicked my eyes open, I was still in my room, just on my bed now. Thanks ma. I rose from my bed, going back to this little shitty setup I have. It wasn't much, but I was on it all day when I was 14 going on 15, when life was good. It was just me, Sparten, Sony, and...Brandon. I type the link Brandon put in his NPC's dialogue into google.

What. The. Fuck.

Relentlessly scrambling through page after page. Judgement day? Rebirth? What is this? My family is pretty religious but...this? I don't know what to say. 

If this is what I just put up on Youtube, what would the people trying to investigate do? I scanned my computer mouse past the delete video button a few times. I suppose my followers still had to figure out what happened to him, so I just..edited a bit more before reposting.

Brandon was my best friend. One could say I loved him, not in a gay way, just...I did. I hate that he's gone. I hate his father for taking him away from me. I don't know, I mean, I didn't have a lot of friends irl because I knew I could just go home and talk to Brandon. I made some friends during his absence, sure. It just wasn't the same. What happened to our dreams, the ones of growing up and meeting in person some day?

Scrolled through our dms for a bit, looking at the ones I loved rereading because they were just so funny. I didn't laugh. Knowing we would never banter the same way again, I couldn't. I couldn't laugh knowing I could never know what he even looked like. Why didn't I ask for an address back then? I mean, I already knew the town where he lived. I could go there, but I'm still only 16.

Why did I wait so long.

I wish I never met him.

Sketchbook after sketchbook. None looked right. It's missing something. It's missing Brandon. But who was Brandon?

Pa is mad about my grades. I don't care. I need to capture him perfectly. Brandon. Hair was too curly, hair was too straight. "Try drawing a girl or something, honey?" "Who are you drawing, dear?" Brandon.

They don't get it. They won't. Brandon. There's iron in my lungs. A pillow full of tears. "Boys don't cry." But Brandon.

He didn't deserve this.

Hair too short. Hair too long. Eyes too thin. Eyes too big. Smile too stiff. Smile too loose. Where is Brandon.