ｌｏｓｅｒ ˢⁱᵈ ʲᵉⁿᵏⁱⁿˢ / ᶠᵉᵐ ᵒᶜ

suprise.

i awoke to the sound of my cell ringing.

i groaned and opened my eyes, i had a pounding headache and the ringing was making it worse.

———————————————————————
incoming call from:

therapy
———————————————————————

i clicked my cell a couple times until the sound went away. i wanted to go back to sleep, to rest my hangover, but i had classes soon.

i stretched my arms, sitting up on my mattress, staring at my radiohead poster until i fully gained consciousness. i smelled my sweater, i knew i needed to change.

when was the last time i showered?

what if.... sid thinks i smell bad?

i stand up, checking my phone again. there was still an hour till i needed to be at school.

i stared into the broken mirror, dried blood on the glass shards. i was pathetic. i looked ill. i grabbed a sweater and a long skirt. it won't take that long, i remind myself. just a quick rinse.

i tiptoed into the washroom, turning on the shower as hot as it could go, quickly removing my clothes, trying to avoid looking down. i took few breaths as i stepped into the heat.

my skin stinged, my scars pinched and burned under the awful water. i fucking hated showers. i quickly dripped shampoo onto my hands, scrubbing my boiling scalp, rinsing it out.

i hummed to myself, trying to calm myself down as i washed my body, being careful to not look.

after i was done showering i shut off the water, stepping outside the shower and wrapping my wet body in a soft towel, shivering from the cold air.

i dried off my body, picturing sid to make me warm. i smile and bite my lip as i pull my sweater over my head and pulling my skirt over my underwear. i dry off my hair with the towel, stepping outside of the bathroom.

"hey sis." finn smiles.

i nod at him.

"you showered?"

"yep."

he smiled. "good job. i'm proud of you."

proud of me?

proud.
of.
me.

the words rang in my head and i walked towards my room.

someone's proud of me.

i smiled, grabbing a blunt and pill bottles from my dresser, taking a few pills as i shoved them in my backpack, walking outside the door.

"amara, you want breakfast?" finn called.

"no thanks."

i walked towards the door when i heard a knock. i opened up the door to find sid waiting for me.

"hey." he chuckled.

i smiled. "h-hi."

"who is it?" finn shouted.

"n-nobody!" i shouted back, shutting the door behind me. "um... what're you doing here?" my face felt warm.

"you... um do you wanna hang out right now?"

"like after classes?"

"no. like right now." he blushed, looking directly into my eyes.

"yeah, um, okay."

his face lit up and his lips turned into a smirk.

"let's go, yeah?" he took my hand.

his hand was warm, sending shivers down my body. "y-yeah.." i whispered back.