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Harry sashayed down the halls of Hogwarts on his daily hot girl walk. As he turned the corner with the ball of his petite heels, he bumped into Crabbe and Goyle. The duo, upon seeing Harry, smirked mischievously.
''As FLAT as usual I see, Pottah.'' Crabbe sneered, crossing his chubby arms.
"Stop it.."
Goyle joined in and snickered, ''I'd ask for some of that cake but, WAIT, you don't have any!!''
"P-p-please s-s-stop..."
A single teardrop falls from Harry's golden orbs, the beat of his heart and nether regions beginning to pick up pace. He held in a muffled sob as he looked down at his Oxford shoes.
Curious onlookers began to crowd around the three, some excited, some nervous. But Harry was scared. And Crabbe and Goyle saw that fear as evil glistened in their beady eyes.
"Hey!!" Crabbe jeered as he and Goyle brandished something out of their pockets... rotten cherry tomatoes. Harry looked up, tears in his eyes, and shaking on the spot.
Goyle shouted. "These have been in our pockets for 5 weeks, Pottah, so BONE APPLE TEETH!!"
Goyle started twerking to the choreo of Katy Perry's latest single, Bon Appetit, as Crabbe rebounded their precious stockpile of red fruit from his juicy gyatt.
"N-n-no!" Harry cried desperately.
Not that anyone listened. ''Hell yea, bon appetit, baby!!"
The crowd around them laughed maliciously as they watched the show.
Harry meekly closed his wet eyes, ready for the onslaught of red.
Just as the first tomato was about to pelt Harry, a sexy silhouette appeared at the end of the hallway.
''Don't you dare touch what's mine!" an angry voice snarled threateningly.
Amid the laughter and the sound of some serious recoil, a roar echoed through the narrow Hogwarts halls.
Everyone, including the tearful Harry, stopped in their tracks and gasped. It was the Valedictorian of the notorious Slytherin house, the fearful owner of not one, not two, but FIVE pairs of limited-edition Slytherin boxers.
It was Draco. Draco Malfoy
With elegance, dominance and filled with alpha anger, Draco strode towards Harry, pure-blonde hair swishing side to side, eyes glowing red with vengeance.
''Harry-bear, don't listen to them, baby, haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate.'' He calmly wrapped his now nine-foot-long PP around Harry's dainty, pink elf ears. The boy who lived looked up to the view of Draco's sharp 90-degree jawline and marvelled at the noise-cancellation abilities of his lover's body parts.
Crabbe and Goyle, whose mouths were wide open, composed themselves. ''Malfoy, what are you thinking? Why, you wanna fight for your little wimpy Gryffindor boyfriend, huh?'' They clapped their hands and cheeks together, knowing that they pulled a good one. But how could they have expected what the fearsome five-pair boxer beast would do next?
Draco smugly half smirked, letting out a dark and mysterious chuckle. ''Tsk tsk... so, you wish to provoke me. Let us fight then. Like real men.'' He brandished his nine-foot barge pole from Harry's ears and waved it tauntingly in front of his opponents.
Harry nibbled his nipples anxiously. He wasn't scared for his boyfriend, but rather for the ill fate of the poor puppy chowder who dared to stand in Draco's way.
Goyle gulped as Crabbe confidently declared, "then let's fight, Malfoy. Like real men."
That day, the crowd in the dim-lit hallway where the ferocious Slytherin stood witnessed history.
Draco grabbed his PP with both arms (for it was a monster that even a gym slob like he struggled to handle) and twirled his muscular PP in his hot, veiny hands.
Thwack! The nine-foot pole hit the floor threateningly, advising the trembling Crabbe and Goyle that they had missed their chance to run. Draco's limited edition Slytherin boxers illuminated the hallway with their checkered green-black pattern. It finally dawned on the witless duo that they were done for.
They immediately dropped to the floor, noses at Draco's shoes.
''P-please Draco... f-f-f-forgive us!! It w-was just a joke...'' Goyle stuttered.
''Surely! H-how could we ever stand in your way?'' Crabbe squeaked.
Draco let out an enraged howl. ''You say these sweet words, yet you dare hurt what's mine? There is no escape for you. You will pay with your life. Never, ever will you experience anything like what Harry and I have.'' He was ready to execute the lethal blow, but during the final second he hesitated.
In a crowd of onlookers, one petite voice made its way to Draco's ears. ''D-draco.. stop! If they die, you'd be expelled. I-I'd never see you again!! PLEASE, t-this isn't you!!''
The Slytherin's eyes softened as he wavered. ''Very well. You two, consider yourself very lucky. I better not see you lot ever again. Now scram.'' Draco knew he didn't fear expulsion, but rather what would happen to Harry's reputation, and their relationship.
Harry smiled meekly, rubbing his aesthetic furry hair on Draco's toned, defined thigh muscles.
''Come on, babe, let's go.''
Yes, the boy who lived may not have had the most juicy of pecs or plumpest of bottoms, but he had Draco. That was all he really needed.
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A/N my longest story yet!! >< sorry i haven't uploaded in so long!!! i was on holiday in hawaii (it was GREAT), uploads will be twice a week from now on!! bon appetit 💋
