Chapter 114
Translator: Yonnee
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However, Ciel got even angrier than I was.
"He just told me to shut up and stay still since I didn't know anything."
At that time, I was talking recklessly because I thought he didn't deserve to make any excuses, but in hindsight now, it seemed like he looked more tired that day, and it was as if there was a dark cloud looming over his features.
However, I couldn't look closely because it was downcast and raining heavily back then, just like it was today.
I left the house during that argument. Without any regard to how hard it was pouring, I walked aimlessly. I was awash with such terrible loneliness as I was walking down the streets, but something caught my wrist with a strong grip.
It was none other than Ciel, stopping me in my tracks as there was a contemplative expression upon his countenance.
Drenched together, the two of us stared into each other's eyes in silence. We were so immersed in each other's gazes that we didn't even know that people had started whispering amongst themselves around us.
After that, we returned home and became one without any guiding between us for the first time. Tearing away the soaked clothes serving as a barrier between us, we were clung in each other's embraces, sharing our warmth.
"It's raining now as much as it did then."
I sat on my bed as I looked out the window. Staring blankly, I listened to the rain tap, tap, tapping against the window. Then, I turned off the lamp and lied down beneath the covers. I fell asleep right away because I had been earnestly training with David recently.
I didn't know how long I was asleep for, but I suddenly woke up because I felt a presence in the room. Before I even opened my eyes, I grabbed the katar that I had hidden nearby, quickly got up and lunged towards my target.
However, it wasn't long before I had to halt my actions.
It was Ciel who snuck into my room in the middle of the night.
He was kneeling in the middle of my bedroom. With his face covered by both of his hands, he was like an unmoving marble statue.
Keeping my eyes on him, I turned on the bedside lamp.
"Haa... What in the world are you doing?"
Anger shot up within me. The frustration that I was feeling seemed to have doubled as it overlapped with my remembrance of the argument I had with him while we were still married.
The rain had turned into a torrent outside, and it sounded like several drums were being blared throughout the air.
As Ciel had been kneeling, he rose slowly, like a huge perched bird gradually spreading its wings. With his head still bowing, I couldn't see his face, but he then opened his lips to speak.
"Why did you leave so suddenly earlier?"
When I didn't answer, he went on speaking.
"You were always so crazy about braised spicy chicken in the past whenever you ate it. You also always mixed the sauce with rice and ate that, but why did you leave it alone today?"
I was taken aback by his unexpected remarks. How long did he intend to talk about the past?
As he roughly rubbed his face with his large hands, I caught a glimpse of the corners of his eyes, which looked to be glaring.
He spoke again.
"You took one look at my face then suddenly put your spoon down. Why does my face make you feel less happy?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Is that not it? But why was it that one look at my face was enough to make you have that expression?"
"What kind of expression?"
"...Hatred. As if you saw something that you loathed to see."
"I never felt that."
"I know you better than you think."
As this meaningless argument ensued on and on, I suddenly realized where this unknown anger was coming from.
Did he sneak into my room in the middle of the night just to say that?
I don't know if it's because I was unconsciously expecting something from him because of his recent changes, but perhaps it's that.
While reproaching myself, I pointed one finger at the window.
"Get out."
"...Honey."
"I already told you not to call me that. You really don't take my words seriously, do you?"
"Would I be like this if I ever thought as such?"
"What is this, really. You just do whatever it is that you want, so now you come here and yet again do whatever you want. Is that all that you know how to do? Don't talk to me as if I'm going to accommodate you on everything you want to happen."
"That's not what I mean..."
"It is. Do you want to know what it's really like while being with you? I have to stay close to you ever so quietly, all the while just holding my breath so that I wouldn't make a single noise. If you reach out your hand, you just grab me as you wish. And once you let go, it means that you're disappearing for god knows how long."
Ciel could not hide his shock from his face. It was dark inside the room, but his face had become as white as a sheet.
But even then, I felt not an ounce of sympathy.
Right. This should have ended long ago... I don't have any more lingering feelings either.
"You're aware that you did it a lot, right? Don't you dare say that you don't remember your own actions."
"...Irene."
"I don't believe you even got my parent's approval anyway, so don't come to my house anymore. And please get out of my room right this instant, or I'll call someone here in one minute."
He must have felt that I was serious about this, but Ciel was completely out of sorts. He merely stared at me blankly, his pupils wildly quivering.
Out of frustration, I brought my fingers to my hair and pushed it up. Soon, he hid his face again.
He buried his face into his palms and couldn't see my movements. As I counted down in my mind, I grabbed him by the shoulder with the intention of dragging him out.
However, he soon murmured something.
But because of the constant downpour from the sky, I couldn't hear him clearly.
"What?"
He still had his face in his hands so his voice was muffled even further. I asked again.
"What did you say?"
And soon, he spoke.
"...ry. ...ong."
