Delicate Love - Tayvis Fic

I - The British

Chapter 1

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My life went downhill after the British betrayed me. I was unstable without him, didn't know what else to do with myself. I spent my days sitting in my own pain, agony. I took a wiff of the battery-powered pen in my hand. The nicotine slowly flowing in my blood stream, desperately trying to make myself more stimulated to do something.

Everyone says that vaping makes your lungs worse, and damnit I know it. Why I still do it? Nothing better to do with my life anymore. The feeling of being alone, it's nothing new to me anymore. There's no point of being on Earth anymore, I have nobody. Nobody that loves me or cares for me. I should just disappear.

Disappear. Disappear. Disappear. I found myself walking up to my house balcony that was a good 30 feet up. The only movement I've made this past week. I put my hands on railing, hearing the sounds of birds chirping and cars honking in the distance. "So far down..." I mumbled as I leaned over the railing.

I shut my eyes and slowly let my body frail over the white, cold fencing. "Bzz. Bzzzz." The device in my pocket rang, and I quickly answered it. I'm scared, I've been upset before but never tried to do.. that.

"Hello? Who's this?" I asked the caller because I didn't read the contact name before answering.

"Hey, it's Tree. How are you doing?" Tree Paine. She's my publicist and honestly the real reason why I still have a job.

"Um, I'm fine. Why?" God, asking someone how they're doing is just polite but I took it as if she just watched me trying to commit.

"I just wanted to check up on you, and I was gonna ask you something but I can't remember what it was..." She paused, "Oh, yeah. I was received a number from a man, football player specifically."

"No thanks," I responded quickly. No way am I near ready for a relationship.

"Yeah, I figured that was what you were going to say. Okay, that's all I wanted to ask you. Bye!" She waited for me to say "Bye" before she hung up the call.

I looked over my shoulder back at the railing, then quickly walked away from it. I don't know why but hearing Tree saying that a man was interested in me gave some sort of motivation. I took this as a time to shower and do my skincare that I haven't done in... Too many days to count.

I actually ate dinner some what. My stomach would always be painful from not eating. But, throwing up my food would hurt even worse, mentally and physically. Joe would help me with that; with everything. Everything that hurt me, he would fix. He was the bandaid for my broken skin and cuts, yet now I'm just bleeding out.

Disappear. Blood. Death. All words I thought my brain would never think about until now. I need someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. I need that person with me. My mom? Am I really that big of a loser that I have to run to my mother when I get hurt? Yes, I am.

I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. I watched the phone ring and ring until she picked up, "Mommy, I need you..." I started sobbing on the phone.

"Oh, Taylor..." She sighed.

"Can I come over?" I was like a child running to her mother when she falls on the ground and needs her mom to kiss her boo-boo.

"Of course, hun. I'm always here for you."I hung up the phone and started my car. No need to call my driver when she lives only 10 minutes away.

Sometimes I wished we still lived together. Me and my mom. She's the only person that stayed, stayed and listened to me, stayed and loved me. When I pulled into the driveway of the house, I didn't waste any time getting in there.

Tears streamed down my face as I ran into the door hoping nobody on the road would see me, "Mom!" I slammed the door shut behind me searching the house frantically.

"Honey?" My mom yelled from upstairs. I quickly rushed up the wooden stairs and ran into her arms.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Talk to me." Talking. If only it was that easy. Expressing your emotions to someone comes with a lot of "It's okay" "I'm sorry" and all that crap. I've learned that sharing what you're going through gives you nothing; so I lied to my mother.

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very short chapter so im just going to post this one at the same time as the second one