Come Back To Me | JungkookxReader

Chapter 3: You Got A Point

Y/N POV

It has been a week since JK's drunken performance and as promised we ended up getting together for dinner and drinks a few days later. Everything seemed... normal? Too normal considering the events that took place that one night. I'm grateful that we got to hangout and pick up where we had left off, but a part of me doesn't believe he's being entirely truthful. When he said that what he did remember may have been a part of his imagination, I wanted so badly to ask what it was. I couldn't get myself to speak up though. I just tried to push him out instead. I needed him to leave right away, because I felt the lump in my throat growing. I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to hold out before I started crying again, but then he gave me that impromptu hug and my body just stilled. I was so shocked the lump had gone away. I didn't even hug him back, I just stood there.

I feel so confused and hurt by everything. A part of me wishes it never happened so I can continue to try and move on or continue to love him in private. While the other part is happy it did and in denial with the idea of him actually wanting me.

I hadn't noticed how much time has passed until I hear my phone ringing. I've been stress cleaning almost the entire morning while in my thoughts.

I look at the caller ID and see it's my friend Rae. She's the only friend I admitted my feelings for JK to and also gave her the run down of that night between us. She and I have known each other since high school. I was super excited when I found out we'd be going to university together. We share a big friend group, but she's the closest one to me out of all of them. Before JK came around, we'd always have sleepovers at my place. We held lots of study sessions as well as cute spa days to wind down from the week. Those became less frequent of course once I met JK and then he and I started doing everything together. I'm so grateful that Rae was understanding about it all. I was afraid she'd think I replaced her and gotten upset at me. I wouldn't have blamed her, but thankfully she wasn't. She was the one that actually started teasing me about having feelings for him and everyone else in our group followed suit. Then finally one day I told her how she was right. She was definitely pleased with herself and told me to not worry about it, and that she was happy I was finally having genuine feelings for someone. She didn't fully agree with me keeping it from him, but it was a start.

After JK left my apartment that day, I called her immediately and told her everything while in tears. She listened to me for hours and even came over so I wasn't alone the rest of the day. This is the first time I've ever really fallen in love with someone, so I don't know how to navigate my feelings. I didn't date much and anytime I did I never got serious about them or attached. These guys would treat me well and express their feelings to me, but nothing they did could get me to reciprocate them. So I would end up just breaking things off so they had a better chance with someone who could give them what I couldn't. It was easy to let go and move on to the next one. Eventually I just stopped trying and stayed single. I assumed I was broken and incapable of being with someone. Rae of course didn't believe that and she'd say things like, "You're just an old soul. You're not meant to deal with the dating scene of our generation. Trust me, when you meet THE ONE you'll know." So meeting JK and the feelings that came was definitely something I didn't see coming.

Finally picking up the phone, "Hi Rae, what's up?"

"Just checking in. Haven't heard from you since you hung out with pretty boy a few days ago. I was getting worried."

I rolled my eyes even though she couldn't see me. "Don't call him that. And I'm fine."

"You're fine? That's all I'm getting? No details or tea to spill? C'mon Y/N, tell me how it went!" 

"It went fine! I'm fine, he's fine. We had a good time."

"The lack of info I'm getting is suspicious. You usually always go on a tangent even if you had a good time. Are you in your head again? Have you been stress cleaning again?"

I throw the rag I was using to wipe my counters with to the side. "No I haven't! And I am not in my head again!"

Silence.

Ugh, I hate how she knows how to open me up.

Rae knows when I'm not being truthful with her. She's also really good at getting me to talk, especially when I'm keeping things to myself that I could probably benefit from talking about. Silence always does it. I hate the silence so much, I'm usually the first person to break it.

"Okay fine, I was in my head again..."

"Alright sweetie, what's going on now? Did you guys talk about what happened?"

I take a seat on my couch, put her on speaker and place my phone on the coffee table.

"No. We honestly did have a good time. Great time actually. Like we always do. It was as if nothing even happened between us and no time had passed."

"Well isn't that a good thing then?"

"Yes and no. I'm still so hung up on it. I did such a good job to keep my feelings at bay. Since that night though, I can't seem to get them back under control. I've missed him so much in these past few months and to go from nothing to... THAT. I just feel so overwhelmed. I've never felt this way for someone before and I don't know how to handle it. I loved how I felt being in his arms."

I didn't realize I had started crying again.

"Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Have you thought about telling him how you feel?"

I start waving my hands in the air back and forth while saying, "No no no no no. Not happening."

"I think you should. Not telling him; especially since that night, is weighing heavily on you. Keeping all that in will only make you sadder and you'll always be left wondering. What's the worst that could happen?"

"He doesn't feel the same way?!" I cry some more.

"Then he isn't the one for you. And it will be his loss."

The thought of JK not feeling the same way even slightly stings. I'm also so terrified of losing him. I don't understand why all this is affecting me so much. All my past relationships could never measure up and we aren't even dating. We're friends! I don't know what it is about him that gave me such a change of heart. All I do know is that I became so easily mesmerized by him one day and everything else continued to grow. I wanted to be everything he was to me, to him. Although before that night, I was okay with just being friends and keeping everything hidden. I loved what we had as long as he was in my life somehow. But the moment JK held me close like I'd fly away from him, the flood gates of my heart bursted. And the reconstruction of that dam was near impossible now.

"But what if it affects our friendship afterwards and I lose him?"

"Then he isn't a good friend. You're just admitting your feelings for him, and even if you do get a rejection at least you'll know and you can do the work to move on and still be his friend. If you still wanted. It doesn't have to be weird. Again, it will be his loss either way. First loves are always the hardest, but I promise you can get through it no matter what happens."

"You got a point."

I can hear the satisfaction in her voice. "I know!"

"Okay, next time I see him I'll tell him. And if I get rejected, you better have candy and a sad movie prepared. With lots of tissues."

"You're going to be fine, but yes - I'll be right by my phone for when you call."

A/N: Sorry it took another month to publish this chapter. My computer crashed and it's really hard to write and edit properly on my phone. I promise to be quicker in the future!

Thanks to everyone who voted and continues to read my stuff. I appreciate you (',,•ω•,,)♡