Escaping RiverCreek

Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Regrettable Fear

Nervous about the faceoff, Tara scoots her feet inch by inch, trying to get a read on the situation since she played her trump card earlier than she wanted.

"Hurry up. I don't have all night," she hears, causing her to pause in her tracks.

"Can I say something first? Can you let me explain?" she begins, letting Cory hear the shakiness in her voice.

"Go ahead. This I got to hear."

Crossing his arms, Cory waits while Tara struggles to find the words to justify six years of actions. Everything she thinks of sounds weak in her head. The silence between them makes Cory stir with anticipation.

"I'm waiting, Tara. If you can't think of anything, then I'll begin."

She raises her hands to grab his attention as she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Your father loved him and thought the world of CJ. I know I screwed up royally, and I can never take that back. I was scared. I didn't wanna leave my mom and dad yet. We were kids, we were so young. I thought I could do it on my own, and I was wrong. If it wasn't for both our families, I'd have been flat on my ass from the start. Please, don't hate my son, our son. He didn't do anything wrong."

Cory begins to laugh, sending mixed signals. "I wouldn't ever hold it against him. You, though, you tore me apart with that letter. I've beaten myself over and over for six long years. You kept him from me, as much as I want to rip you apart in every way I can, and I won't. My heart still beats for you. You, standing there even now, the biggest part of me wants to hold you and tell you it'll be all right and pick up where we left off. The other part though says to leave you hanging right here and never return."

After hearing that, Tara drops to her knees, ready to break.

"We can. I don't need anyone else other than you and CJ in my life. I'll do anything to make this up to you. Let me make this right!" She plants her hands on the ground to balance herself, feeling the weight of the world crashing over her, unsure of what's about to happen.

"No, I have an entirely different life now. I'm even signed to re-up when I get back to Germany. I save lives every day and go into hot zones every so often. You couldn't handle it if I get killed, and I wouldn't hurt CJ like that. He's better off never knowing what I do."

"You're wrong, Cory. He needs his daddy. He is always asking about you. He cries, thinking that you don't love him. He's such a sweet boy. He is so much like you, and it's unforgiveable what I did. Can you forgive me?"

Standing there without flinching, only a single word is uttered—"No"—the one word that destroys Tara's heart.

There's a struggle to breathe. Tara's body feels as if she's trapped under water with chains strapped to her ankles.

"Cory ... help ... please ... I can't ... I can't ..."

She grabs at her chest, wheezing loudly.

"Hang on." Cory jumps into action, rushing over rolling Tara into his arms so she can face the night's sky.

"I got you. Relax. It'll pass. Look at my eyes, Tara. Focus only on my voice." He maintains a calm, cool tone as he begins to slightly rock back and forth. "You're safe. I won't let you go until it passes."

They sit there for what feels like several minutes as it begins to pass.

"Thank you, Cory. Can I please hold you while I cry?"

Unwilling to comply with her request, Cory gives Tara assistance to her feet and goes back to where he was. Only now, he's sitting on the edge of the deck rail.