Waiting For You

4

Wooyoung

It’s been a few weeks since Hongjoong and I had one of our ‘dates’. This is because there
has been nothing but bad days between San and I. When we have bad days, I just keep to myself and stay quiet. He had slapped, punched, threw things, pushed me and many more during these weeks. Hongjoong let’s me keep to myself but also looks after me a bit. He makes me food and cleans my wounds when needed. He doesn’t expect me to tell him what happened when he cleans me up. This I am grateful for, but sometimes I do tell him without him asking.

“Wooyoung bub, it’s time to get up for class.” Hongjoong acts like a mom sometimes. I’m awake but not wanting to get up and go to class. Hongjoong and I share one class together. We go to class together, sit by each other, and leave together.

I groan in response, “I don’t want to."

“Too bad, get your phat ass up.” Hongjoong says as he slaps my ass. One of his favorite things to do.
We quickly showered, ate breakfast, and then left.

“Is a butt one or two? You know the cheeks?”

“Wooyoung what the fuck.”

“Is it though? It’s a very serious question Hongjoong. We both have a phat ass so do we have one or two? Do flat people just have one or do they have two?”

“I’m not answering that.” Hongjoong deadpanned as we turned the corner. And how I
wish Hongjoong let me stay in bed.

There was my boyfriend, not just by himself but with a woman. A woman he had against the wall with his tongue practically down her throat. I knew he had most likely cheated in the past but seeing it made me feel nauseous. I could hear Hongjoong say something, but I couldn’t hear him. I felt him grab my hand to pull me away, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move till he saw me. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to really.

Hongjoong kept trying to talk to me, but I never heard a thing he said. I was just focused on the picture in front of me. That was when San noticed we had been standing there for some time now. That or he needed some air after making out with his girlfriend.

I finally felt in control of my body after we made eye contact. I didn’t hear what he said or if he even said anything to begin with. I just couldn’t hear anything in that moment. It was like being in a boring class and not paying attention.

Before anything else could happen, I took off back to the dorm room. Both San and Hongjoong close behind me from the sound of their feet. I know Hongjoong would try to get to me first and if he didn’t, he would make sure San was no where near me.

I could hear them arguing outside the door. Hongjoong refusing to let San anywhere near me and even threatening to move San himself. San would gladly return the physical contact as well if needed.

I always thought of San cheating. I didn’t expect to react like this. I thought I wouldn’t care that much and just get over it. I guess there is a big difference between suspecting your partner of cheating and catching them in the act.

San was never very good at hiding his possible cheating, or he didn’t even care enough to at least try to. There were always texts from other guys and girls, flirty looks to others, flirty touching, and just straight up flirting in front of me. If there was anything more that was done behind my back.

He would randomly have hickeys on his neck and chest that I certainly did not make. We
weren’t very active in the bedroom on the count of the abuse. He would have women’s perfume on his clothes sometimes. Or a pair of underwear that certainly wasn’t mine. It was a thong. That absolutely crushed me, but I didn’t say anything. If I didn’t care to notice or acknowledge it, it wasn’t going on. That should be how everything works.

I heard the door open, but I didn’t bother to lift my head from my pillows and blankets that were silencing my cries. I felt a dip in my bed and immediately knew it was Hongjoong based on the way he laid right next to me. He held me close and didn’t show any signs of letting me go anytime soon.

As I cried in his chest, he whispered comforting words to try and ease me, but the only thing that did ease me was the way I fell asleep soon after from all the crying.

I woke up about 2 hours later with a pounding headache. I was still in Hongjoong’s arms,but he was the one sleeping this time. I carefully got up and took some medicine for my headache. When I returned to my bed Hongjoong was awake, confused to as why wasn’t with
him. So, I climbed back into his arms and under the covers.

“How are you feeling bub?” He asked softly.

“Single.”

“I’m sorry Youngie.”

“Me too.”

“It’ll be okay, you got me and Seonghwa to keep you company now.”

“I suppose, but I’m not going to class tomorrow, you should though.”

“If you are skipping so am I. I need to be here incase dickwad comes back.”

I nod at his words not really caring about what he said. I felt like shit and probably looked it too. I didn’t dare to look in the mirror. All I would see were the reasons why San was in the right to cheat on me multiple times.

I was too much at times. I’m too skinny. My face is very thin. My laugh is annoying. I’m not pretty enough for his standards. I overthink every little thing. I’m either too quiet or loud. I sometimes dress too provocatively or not at all. I’m sensitive. I mess up a lot. I’m over all a burden, that’s why he needed better than me. It’s not hard to find better. It’s in every corner. Or everyone’s pants.