heartless ~ lucy bronze

chapter 3 ~ get some sleep lucy

abi rivers:
that couldnt have gone any worse. why, of all people, does sarina send lucy to check on me? in her defence she doesnt know anything that went down between us, it was just my rotten luck.

pushing her away was the only option, although it hurts me so much to hear that she blames herself. i had to leave her. it was saving her in the long run. everything i did was to protect her, i didnt want to let her down.

walking out of the bathroom was the last thing i wanted to do, but i had to do it. every step i took felt like daggers where being shoved into my heart, yet i continued walking. eventually, i bumped into keira and g, who obviously asked me what happened and why i ran out. not in the mood to explain myself, i just told them i wasnt feeling well and that i was going to bed, to which they allowed me too do. i have to explain myself to sarina, its my first camp back and in the very first team meeting im already causing disctractions.

luckily enough, i end up bumping into sarina on the way to my room, and she has a look of concern plastered on her face. 'ah abigail i was just looking for you. i wanted to make sure your okay, lucy said you werent feeling well.' she says, placing her hand on my arm. 'im okay thank you, just going to get some sleep now. i think its all the travelling.' i lie, a fake smile on my mouth. 'okay. if you need anything let someone know. see you in the morning.' she replies, before walking off in the opposite direction. honestly right now i just want some sleep. its been a draining first day at st georges park, and i was ready for it to be over.

it felt like years till i made it to my room, but when i did i didnt even bother getting changed, i just untucked the duvet and slid into it, melting into the bed. i layed there for a few moments, just thinking of the days events, and how i might just be the unluckiest person on planet earth. i survived nearly a year of rehab, yet one day of being around lucy has nearly killed me off, typical.

sleeping was going to be a mission and a half tonight. my brain was just going into overdrive, which was just what i needed. luckily i had a while till lucy would be back, as the rest of the team had gone for dinner, meaning that i had the room to myself for a good hour atleast. maybe being by myself would help me recollect my thoughts. or it would drive me to the edge of insanity.

leah williamsons pov:
i can read that girl like a book. lucys presence was driving her absolutely crazy, sometimes i just wish she would open up too her and tell her the truth. no matter how many times i try to convince her, her guard always shoots straight up, and she quickly changed the conversation topic.

currently, we were all downstairs eating dinner, with the exception of abi. before abi tore her acl, myself, keira, g, lucy and jordan would all sit a table together, laughing and debriefing the days events as a group. our friend group seemed un breakable, that was until abi got injured in an international fixture.

ive never seen her cry like that when injured. as soon as she went down she balled her eyes out, thats when i knew it was bad. abi is a tough shell to crack, and has an extremely high tolerance to pain, so seeing her that upset over an injury scared us all. we all knew what it was before it was even confirmed.

i was straight by her side when she went down, and the first thing she said to me was 'my seasons over, ive done my acl. i know i have.' i tried my best to convince her otherwise, but even i couldn't reassure her. lucy was on the bench when it had happened, resting her knee as it had been playing up, but she immediately ran on to the pitch and stayed with her till she got stretchered off.

thats when she found out. not the news that she had just torn her acl, but the news that would cause her to leave lucy. the news that secretly broke her inside no matter how hard she tried to hide it. she thought it would break lucy, so she did what she thought was best, even if it was the wrong choice. i know lucy would understand, shes so in love with abi that she could commit murder and she'd still think shes the most amazing person on the planet, but its not my place to say anything.

lucy looked very gloomy this evening. she was sat on her own, moving her food around on her plate with her fork, just staring at it. often at times i found myself feeling quite sorry for her, her girlfriend had just randomly broken up with her for no reason, that cant be easy on anyone. i took it upon myself to go and sit next to her, to which she looked up quite surprised. 'if you here to have a go at me can you just do it later. im really not in the mood right now.' she said, looking away from me. 'im not angry at you lucy. i wanted to know if your okay.' i reply honestly, causing her to raise an eyebrow. 'you want to know if im okay?' she questions, seemingly confused. i just nod in reply. 'ive been better.' she admits, looking down at her lap. 'what did she say to you?' i ask, trying to find the root of the problem. hesitantly, she replies 'she said that i shouldnt care about her. i dont know what goes through her head sometimes. i asked why she hates me so much, and she said that she doesnt hate me? yet she still left. ive obviously done something wrong for her to just up and leave.' oh abi. 'trust me lucy, i know you probably don't believe it but she doesnt hate you. quite the opposite really, she left because she loves you. i cant say everything because i dont want to betray her trust. but its not your fault, and it never has been. alright? dont blame yourself.' i reveal, and i can see the tears forming in her eyes, but she doesnt let them fall. 'was she not happy with me?' she asks, vulnerability evident in her tone. its not often we see a vulnerable lucy, so i know she's definitely torn over all of this. 'she was the happiest with you lucy.' i smile, trying to provide some reassurance. 'then why did she leave?' she whispers, her voice breaking slightly. 'its not my place to tell. ive told her to talk to you, but shes just trying to protect you, thats all.' i answer, its hard because i dont want to betray my bestfriends trust, but lucy doesn't deserve to be beating herself up over something out of her control. 'is she okay?' she asks me concerned, and im unsure how to answer. 'shes doing better.' is all i manage to say. 'but maybe try and talk to her, let her know its okay to open up to you. i know deep down she wants to.' i say, before patting her knee and smiling. 'thanks leah, i appreciate it.'

lucy bronzes pov:
ive never been more confused, but my conversation with leah has made me feel slightly better about everything. i wasn't really in the mood for dinner tonight, so i left early. to be honest, i didnt really want to go to my room either, but i guess there was no other option.

when i made it into my room, i was met with the sight of abi asleep, hidden under the duvet, only her face visible. even in her sleep she seemed tense, i wish i knew what was going on in her head. i wish she would just let me in.

i cannot for the life of me figure out what leah meant. what was so bad that would hurt me so much? did she cheat? i just had no idea. sitting on the edge of her bed, i just couldn't hold my tears in. they were the silent kind, the kind that was post painful. when she first left, i didn't allow myself to cry. i tried to convince myself it didnt affect me that she left, but what was the point of hiding it anymore.

'im sorry.' i hear from the other side of the bed, causing my head to snap into the direction of the voice. 'shit, i didnt mean to wake you up. go back to sleep.' i reply,  jumping off the bed and desperately wiping my eyes. 'no.. i wasnt asleep.' she says, sitting further up the bed. 'oh.' is all i respond. standing awkwardly at the end of her bed. 'do you want a hug?' she asks me in a small voice, hesitant of rejection. 'if i hug you i dont think ill be able to let go.' i say honestly, which causes her to look down at her lap guiltily. 'but a hug would be nice.' i end up caving, not wanting her to feel bad about everything. she gets up off the bed and walks over, and when she reaches me she stops right infront of my face. her arms wrap around me and mine reciprocate the action, ive forgotten what its like to have her in my arms.

once we pull apart, she leads me over to her bed, and lifts the duvet up for me to climb into. i raise my eyebrow at her, but her facial expression doesnt change, so i climb into the bed. she walks over and gets in on the other side, and faces me for a few moments. 'get some sleep lucy.' she then says, before shutting her eyes and falling into a deep slumber.

what on earth.

authors note:
- abit of a longer one, enjoy xxx