𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃| ✎

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨

I woke with sore eyes and a pounding head, the effects of my tears and sobs felt keenly on my body. I looked at the clock, and saw that it was already morning.

Worst sleep of my life.

I threw back the covers and got out of bed, the day ahead of me one that I dreaded to face. But there was no choice now but to steel myself for the day ahead. I walked over to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror at my red-eyed reflection.

I could barely look at my reflection without tears starting to build up in my eyes again. I stared at myself in the mirror, wishing I could be anyone else but me.

My hair was a mess from all my cries, and my cheeks were still red from where my tears had streaked down.

I pressed my hands up to my eyes, and fresh sobs started to build inside me again.

I felt so hopeless, and my thoughts started to spiral.

What was I going to do about this forced marriage?

I didn't even know who I was going to marry. I didn't even want to marry at all!

The tears spilled over my cheeks, running down my face in streams.

I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me, and I couldn't stop it. I was going to be forced into this marriage if I liked it or not, with no way out.

I felt numb as I performed the routine of getting ready. What was the point of anything?

My heart was still heavy from the previous day's events, and my mind was still spinning with anxiety. But I had to go back to my life, to play the role of the well-behaved daughter again.

I washed my face, and applied makeup to try and cover up my face so no one notices that I have been crying all night. I tried to take deep breaths, but the knot of anguish in my throat kept coming back.

After I finished in the bathroom I stepped into my closet, and began to get ready. I felt like a robot going through the motions, without any emotions or thoughts to guide me. The clothes felt like they were draped over a shell of a person, not a living, breathing, feeling human being.

I pulled out my clothes for the day, all the while feeling empty inside.

Each outfit I put on felt like a different mask to hide my true feelings behind.

It all felt so superficial, and I felt like I was losing touch with my own true self.

I stepped out of my room and went downstairs to breakfast, my eyes cast down to avoid eye contact with my family.

I sat down at the table, and stared blankly at my breakfast.

My stomach felt like a knot, and every time I chewed on my food, my mouth felt dry and sick.