Rumours ~ Ruikasa

Morning

     Again.

Of course.

It was always the same old thing, wasn't it? Then why did Rui always hope that something would change, deep down in his heart?

Why did he want to be accepted so badly? Why did he want to clear up this widely-spread misunderstanding?

The murmurs flitted past Rui's ears, but they felt like nails scraping on a chalkboard.

They were merely words, they were not physical objects, yet they left stinging cuts whenever they passed by.

     Rui was happy with his life. Wasn't he? Yes, he was. No need to think further about it.

     It's just another day at school. Nothing will change. Stop hoping.

Even with that recurring thought, somewhere, in the back of his mind, that little, rejected thought snuck through. Every time.

     Why don't I try to show them who I really am? Why don't I try to get them to really know me? Why don't I try to make them understand that everything they think they know about me is fake?

It was painful. Every time that thought passed, leaving deep marks. It was always painful.

But that was okay! It was okay because Rui liked his life! He didn't care what others thought of him! Nothing at all could possibly ruin the perfect life he had. Since nobody spoke to him other than Nene...

     Why do you exist?

End it already.

You know you want it.

You want it all to end.

Nobody likes you.

Singing to the children, looking at their big, adorable smiles.

It's not enough.

     Nene, the children... and him.

     He doesn't like you. He's just like everyone else. If not, worse. He's just telling you what you want to hear. Did you really think he wanted you there because he didn't believe the rumours?

Then it began to rain onto Rui's hands. Those warm raindrops with such a tainted significance. Those raindrops, all the same as poison, infused with those grim thoughts. Those raindrops that were always waiting to fall out.

These raindrops, of course, weren't actual raindrops. Rui liked to think that, with every tear shed, one of his depressing thoughts would slip away, too, gradually ridding him of his pain. Then again, rain always falls back down.

     "Let it out. Let it all out."

That is what Nene would have told him if she had been there. But she wasn't. Rui was alone again, crying.

He cried until all those tears were gone. Rui wiped away the wet trails his tears left behind. This was normal! It happened almost every day, so naturally it must be normal. Because, obviously, the rain always falls back down.

Mom ❤️
<It's going to be okay.>
<Don't cry.>
<I'm coming, Rui. Love you>

Rui brought his knees up to his chest and waited for his mother. A few moments later, she appeared at his doorway and walked in. She wrapped her arm around her son, leaning her head on his. Rui began to feel warm.

"You know, Rui, I really wish you'd tell me why you always start the morning crying..." She began to caress Rui's arm with her soft hand. "I'm here if you ever want to talk about it. I love you."

"I-I love you too, Mom," Rui said in a slightly raspy voice.

"Drink some water, I'll make breakfast. Come down when you're ready."

"'Kay."

He felt the gloom return as quickly as it had left when his mother had hugged him.

He really wished he could tell his mother, but ever since he was diagnosed, she had become very overprotective of him. He didn't want her to go even more out of her way to help him.

He began to get changed. He removed his shirt and froze up as the white, rectangular patch stuck onto his stomach area came to sight. That patch was one of the only things helping to keep Rui healthy—or rather, as healthy as he could be—because it was pumping what insulin was missing from his bloodstreams into him.

Stupid chronic disease.

He tore his gaze away from the patch and put on the rest of his school uniform before heading down to the kitchen, where his mother was waiting.

    Is it today...?

Rui and Tsukasa had traded numbers the day before, back on the rooftop of Kamiyama High. Tsukasa had told him that there would be practice the next day. Rui had already asked Nene to come to practice at that one stage—the Wonder Stage, Tsukasa had called it?—at PXL with him and Tsukasa and whoever else would be there.

"You look like you've cheered up," Rui's mother said with a smile when she saw him. "Did something good happen?"

Rui realized he'd been smiling a little, but he couldn't stop it from growing as he looked at his mother. "Yeah."

"Ooh, is it a boy?!" The woman's eyes sparkled.

"Well, yes, but no," Rui mused.

"Huh?"

Rui decided to let his mother be confused as he prepared all of his things for school with a playful smirk on his face.

     He rapidly ate his breakfast and ran back up to his room to put on his brown eye contacts. Not that he needed them.

     After putting in his contacts, Rui picked up his things and left for school, shouting a "Bye, Mom!" to his mother before exiting the house.

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SOOOOO this chapter's short... I'll try to make the next ones longer 😭

LMFAO YOU CAN TELL I RAM OIT OF IDEAS FOR THE CHAOTER TITLE 💀💀

Everything that happens after this is exactly the same as the original story until I say it's not 🐺🐺🐺🐺 (The part when wxs does their first show and Robonene dies ykyk? The fanfic continues after wxs gets back together afyee ruo leabes)

ah yes ruo my fav pjsk character

Word count: 971