Myosotis

Undo

'Chāi diào diàn shì, chāi diào shēng yīn, chāi diào shǒu jī, chāi diào jì yì

(Tear down TV, tear down sound, tear down mobile phone, tear down memories)

Chāi diào, chāi diào, chāi diào

(Tear down, tear down, tear down)'

-Yuk-Cheung Chun feat. Misi Ke, 'Undo'

---

It was Hans' funeral today.

When the nurse arrived to tell her, the full impact of his death finally hit her.

He was dead.

Hans was dead.

Hans was dead.

Alice had felt weak in the knees, she was sure she would've collapsed under her weight if she had been standing. Her stomach rolled and she'd felt like vomiting because it was the first time news about someone dying had been so real.

It would be the first time since being admitted into the hospital she would be allowed to leave, albeit in a wheelchair and the instruction to return right after the funeral. It seemed they had been awaiting her awakening and return of strength before holding the funeral.

Sitting in her wheelchair at the front row of the ceremony, Alice stared despondently as they lifted her brother's coffin into the ground. While her exterior presented an emotionally-drained and grief-ridden girl mourning the death of her beloved brother, she was anything but miserable on the inside. She was in fact furious. Alice wanted to rush forth and bite, kick and scream at the people who were burying her brother even though she couldn't even get out of her wheelchair without help. What did they think they were doing? Her brother wasn't dead, he couldn't be.

Watching the shovels pile dirt atop her brother's final resting place, Alice felt a sense of finality about his death. This was it. She couldn't deny his death after this no matter how hard she tried because it was a stone hard fact that her dearest brother, Hans, was dead.

('This wasn't right,' she thought. 'It couldn't possibly be.' He shouldn't be there, it should be both of them or her.)

Alice turned her gaze to the cloud infested sky and watched as the grey clouds slowly crawled across the sky.

Drip.

Alice blinked as a liquid dropped onto the edge of her eyes and slid down her tilted cheeks as though it was a tear.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

As the first one fell, several followed in succession before heavy sheets blanketed the service and the program was promptly cut short due to the sudden change in weather and Alice was carted away.

It was as though the sky was crying.

(Alice was relieved that the rain had hid those few genuine tears that managed to escape her eyes.)

---

Upon arriving back at the hospital, Alice was delivered back to her room and tucked back into her current bed.

"I know it must be hard, but you were a strong girl today, Alice," her nurse told her gently, but firmly with a kiss to her forehead before leaving.

As soon as Alice heard the door to her room slid shut, she ripped out all the wires connected to her and chucked the vase of beautifully arranged flowers on her bedside table to the wall across from her in her fit of rage and didn't bother to even watch it shatter and fall to the floor as shards as she tucked her face into her pillow and screamed.

The storm raging on outside drowned out the sounds of her muffled screams as she slowly unraveled.