But It's Over Now

Chapter 1

I slowly opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was my clock saying it's 6:48 in the morning. I almost cursed and immediately transformed into a ninja. Today's my first day in college and here I am still enjoying the tingling sensation of my bed.

If I am just a typical teenager I would be that excited but unfortunately, I am not. I did my best to fix myself for about 30 minutes and I went downstairs. I saw my father waiting for me in our dining table.

"Kumain ka muna bago pumasok." He bluntly said and I nearly rolled my eyes.

"Sige po." Was all I can say and turned my heels to leave.

"Do you still have money?"

"Yes." I answered without a backward glance. And maybe he was used by my coldness so he didn't bother talking to me again.

It's a peculiar thing how can a daughter like me treats her father like that after raising her all his life. But no one knows a thing except those people I am with a decade ago. We weren't like this before. In fact, I am a daddy's girl. I am a princess of a king and a queen who loves me infinitely. Until a tragedy happened. Until that day....

I blinked the invisible tears away and tried my hardest to shooed my train of thoughts. I put the fake smile I wear everyday. Today is another 24-hour day that I will be faking everything – things I used to be but will never able to have anymore.

Nakita kong naghihintay na ang aming driver sa loob ng sasakyan kung kaya't nagmadali na akong sumakay. Tahimik ang naging biyahe namin ngunit napansin kong nakatitig sa akin si Manong Ben.

"Bakit po?" Tanong ko sa kanya, para siyang natigilan at marahil ay nahihiya sa aking pagkahuli sa kanya kung kaya't agad siyang nagyuko ng ulo ngunit agad din ay ibinalik ang tingin sa akin. Bata palang ako ay siya na ang nagmamaneho para sa aming pamilya.

"Ah, eh ano po kasi, kamukhang kamukha niyo po ang inyong namayapang ina." Aniya na para bang nag-aalinlangan sa kanyang pagsagot.

I felt the familiar pain whenever something reminds me of my mother. I always thought that after long years of waiting I would be able to cope up but I am wrong because that pain stayed where it is. Maybe the acceptance is missing, so the pain still remains.

After Manong Beng opened up about Mommy we grew silent the whole drive. We reached the school ground and I thanked him as he smiled at me unwillingly, I can sense that he's still ashamed of what happened. Pagkatapos ng sampung taon ay ni hindi ko nabanggit kanino man ang tungkol sa aking ina even with Dad. Hindi ko magawang buksang muli ang usapang iyon dahil nasisiguro ko na may parte ng pagkatao ko ang masasaktan at yun as palagay ko ang pinakamagandang parte ng aking buhay – which no longer exists in this world.

I checked my account in our school portal to see where my first class is. I'm thankful that it's not that hard to find. As I enter the room, some pair of eyes swiveled in my direction. I didn't give them my smile for they are looking at me like I am the most disgusting person alive. I just ignore their faces expressing profanities, I think?

Some of my blockmates are almost talking with one another and here I am, sitting silently in the last row waiting for our Professor to come. The feeling isn't new because I used to feel alone, used to.

All of the girls stopped whatever they are doing when a man, maybe older than most of us entered the room. He seems to be looking for something and when our eyes met, I felt the unfamiliar tremor running down in my spine. But there's a part in me that tells me how his eyes look so familiar, like it had been an integral part in me but I don't know how and when. He's good-looking anyway but I don't know, maybe the reason why I felt that was it's my first time to have an eye contact with someone in a very random moment. I didn't mind him as he walks toward my direction.

What the f*ck is this man doing? I quipped silently in my mind. He smiled at me so wide that tinges something inside. What the hell! Okay, he's handsome. I think he looks like the main actor in what do they call that, wait, what is it? Descendants of what? I don't care.

I immediately snatched my eyes away from him as he sat beside me. Natataranta ako at hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako makahinga ng maayos. Okay, you're handsome. Handsome. That's it. I rarely compliment boys and he should be flattered about that!

"Hi." Sambit niya na halos magtulak sa akin upang tumayo na. I can sense the rolling of eyes around us, we're like in a teleserye being watched by many people. And I hate it.

Akma akong tatayo nang pigilan niya ako. Nakaramdam ako ng pamilyar na sensayon sa pagdampi ng kanyang balat sa akin. Ngunit bago pa ako makaalis ay nagbitiw sya ng salitang lubos kong hindi maintindihan.

"Please, don't leave. It will be the death of me."