Yours Musically

41. Remorse

Chapter Forty One - Remorse

Sean is not your boyfriend. He can do that.

That's what I kept telling myself as I angrily paced outside the club in the chilly air, my arms tightly wrapped around myself for warmth, not like it was being much helpful.

When I'd walked in on them, they were too busy eating each other's face to even notice me. And I was so embarrassed that I sprinted out of the bathroom and didn't stop until I was out in the fresh air.

I was feeling many emotions, but sadness wasn't one of them. I was utterly confused about what I should've been feeling. I was mad—hell! I was so enraged that I could feel angry tears stinging my eyes. But it wasn't because I had seen Sean making out with Ashley.

Instead, I was thankful it wasn't Matt shoving his tongue down someone's throat, but the thought of him doing the same with Rebecca in some corner of the club was what blinded me with fury.

I never had Sean. I couldn't have Matt. I was just...alone.

Maybe I'd just wanted a boyfriend after all. Any boyfriend, said my drunken self as I found myself nodding. I really thought Sean and I were getting somewhere. Why would he do that?

"Looks like I win."

I faintly heard a voice behind me and approaching footsteps. A moment later, someone was standing very close to me, and I didn't have to turn around to know who it was because I'd already recognized that cologne.

Oh! So, he'd finally remembered about me.

"You're drunk and out of the club. Just like I said." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Congratulations," I breathed out.

A prolonged moment of silence passed.

"Are you ready to go home?" his voice sounded searching. "Let me know if you need a ride just in case your boyfriend wants to save himself an extra mile again."

Boyfriend. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I couldn't believe how naive I'd been all this time, thinking Sean was into me. I knew that him making out with Ashley wasn't wrong because, technically, I wasn't even his girlfriend, but I was mad at myself for living in my own fairytale and believing he liked me already.

"Hey," Matt called, stepping so close I could feel his hot breath on my shoulder. "Look at me."

Suddenly aware of the situation, I blinked several times to push back my tears, but Matt had already grabbed my shoulder and spun me around just as a stubborn tear rolled down my cheek.

"What's wrong—"

His words died mid-sentence. He appeared to have gone completely rigid like a stone, the only sign of life in him being his eyes that desperately moved across my face for a hint before he asked in a low voice, "are you crying?"

I quickly wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and sniffled. Shit! That was embarrassing. He'd never seen me cry before.

"I-I didn't know I was." I let out a laugh, turning away. "I'm fine."

He scowled. "No, you're not. I need to know what happened. Did someone do something—"

Once again, he stopped talking, but this time, like he'd just realized something. An intense look flashed in his deep brown eyes as his jaw clenched with anger.

"What did he do?"

My mouth opened. "What...who?"

He tilted his head with a warning. "Sean."