Yours Musically

43. I'm Not

Chapter Forty Three - I'm Not

Sometimes, my own reasoning baffled me.

After telling Matt we were completely done with each other, from music to car rides, I still had the audacity to expect him to call me up in the evening and demand why I hadn't shown up at his house for music training yet.

Maybe it was because I really wanted to see him and ask why he would hit Sean. Why did it even matter to him if Sean had hurt me? Yes, I had let him see my pathetic, drunk side the night before, but I'd never once asked him to take matters into his hands like that.

My feet involuntarily took me to my window for the nth time as I stared out at his front door.

Just call me once and I'll show up, I promise.

Burying my face in my hands, I exhaled loudly at my desperation.

A part of me just wanted to show up at his doorstep and scream at him. Say nothing. Just scream. Then, come back home and go to bed.

Before I could let that urge take over, I got myself into bed and decided to sleep off my frustration, but it was all in vain as I kept tossing and turning the entire night.

"Come on," I groaned into my pillow. "Why can't I stop thinking about you, Williams?"

That was my last thought before falling asleep, and the next thing I saw was my nightstand watch flashing 5 a.m. I sat up with a start and, like some pre-programmed robot, started following my daily routine.

At 6 a.m., I was ready and was anxiously pacing across my room, wondering if Matt was going to ask me to ride with him again. If he did, I was gonna go with him.

I stared out of my window. He should've been heading to school by now, but his car was still in the driveway with no sign of him.

Was practice cancelled? Could he still be in bed? Should I text him?

After a lot of thinking, or maybe five seconds of thinking, I made an impulsive decision and found myself walking out of my house, crossing the street and standing at his doorstep.

I have a very valid reason to be here. I need to ask about Sean. I told myself.

When Garrett answered the door, I offered him a little smile, and he stepped aside to let me in, welcoming as ever.

"Good morning, Garrett."

"Good morning, Rebekah."

"Is Matt home?"

He hesitated for a moment but nodded towards the stairs. I wasn't patient enough to ask him what that was about. I needed to see Matt. I made my way upstairs and knocked on his bedroom door.

He did not answer. Was he still sleeping? Was he okay?

I pushed the door open in confusion. His room was empty but messy. Stuff had been thrown around, papers were lying on the floor, and the sheets were ruffled. What happened in here?

Then I heard a voice. A giggle. From inside the bathroom.

"God!" A whimper. "I've missed this," came a muffled sound, and I instantly recognized it.

Rebecca!

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle a shriek. Even before I could recover from that surprise, the door clicked open, making my eyes widen in horror. I desperately went for the nearest item—the curtains—and jumped behind them.

My heart was beating loudly as their footsteps echoed in the room. I prayed with everything I had that they hadn't spotted me. I looked down to make sure the curtains were ceiling to floor, and they were. Thank God!