You and I

Chapter 7 : Emily

Some people have a whole bunch of baggage that they carry with them. Sometimes they don't know how to release it so they just keep it bottled up. The thing with bottling everything up is that one day, every thing will explode in your face. That feeling is the worse feeling ever. Sometimes people just  don't know how to let go of their baggage. I go to therapy to release everything and it has helped a lot. I feel like a different person from who I was when I was dealing with the stuff with my mom. I am really thankful for my therapist, she has helped me through a lot. I used to see her every week but know I see her every other week. It may not sound like progress but it is. 

"Emily get back here!" I hear Adam yell from his bed. I can hear him stand up and he walks into the bathroom as I am brushing my hair. Two weeks have gone by and Adam is amazing. "Emily, what are you doing." He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder. "Come back to bed, Sunshine."

"I can't. I have somewhere to be." I began to brush my teeth. 

"It is seven in the morning, where could you possibly need to be." He kisses my neck. I don't know how to answer him. I don't usually bring it up to anyone. "Who are you getting all dressed up for?" 

I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth. " I uhh have a school thing to take care of." As soon as the words leave my mouth I realized what I did. I can feel his grip tighten around me. I turn around to face him. "I am sorry, Baby. I just don't tell anyone about this often." 

"Emily. I promise that you can tell me anything and everything." his hands come up to my face. "Where are you going."

I look up at him and try to spit the words out. "I-I " I look down at my feet. "I go to therapy once every other week." I look up at him and his eyes become softer. "I go because everything about me is messed up and I do not know how to take care of anything in my life."

Adam doesn't say anything for a while. "Baby." He wraps his arms around me. "I'll drive you, okay. Let me get dressed." 

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Adam drops me off at the office. I don't even bother telling him no. He probably would have sat in the session with me. Which is something that I do not want. When I lied and told him I was going to something at school, I could feel the anger radiating off about him. 

"Hey Dr. Scott." I sit down in her weirdly comfortable couch. I never liked the way her office was set up. When you think about a therapist's office most people would picture a see a couch and a seat, but her office has a couch pushed up against the wall and her desk is in the back of the room facing the door which has a book shelf and a weird door on either side. It doesn't have many decorations. Maybe that is what bothered me. 

The walls were painted a plain beige color, the wall trim was an off white color. The whole room needed a make over. I have considered going and finding a new therapist but I feel Dr. Scott has been able to help me in ways that no one has ever. 

"Emily it is nice to see you. What brought you in today?"

"The nightmares had stopped for a while and then they randomly came back and then I really didn't feel like myself. I feel like I can't talk about it to anyone."

"Has there been any new changes in your life recently?" she asks looking down at her laptop.

I didn't want to tell her about Adam because of if I say something is going on and it really isn't, I wouldn't what to labeled a liar. On the other hand if I do tell her then she can help me with my nightmares. This is one of the things I hated about being an overthinker. I can't choose something because it feels right. There is always competition.

"Emily this is a safe space. You can tell me. Is it a person that has come into your life? A big job offer?" I wish it was a big job offer. The only way I have made money in my life was working at a fast food restaurant and when Adam bought my pictures. I wouldn't count that though. I think he did it to impress me. If he did. It worked. Sometimes I wonder how he found out were I was the night of the subway. I have also wondered can two people really be dating after just having sex and just meeting. I mean I have met him before that night but do those times really count?