From strangers to lovers and back again

The beginning of the end

This was supposed to be the start of my story. It's the start of a new chapter at least.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hi, my name is Aurora and this is my story. I never had a good childhood and my parents were never there. I had to "grow up" to be independent and learn my way around life. I wish I had spent my prime teenage years being a teenager. But I guess it's too late for that now. I hope this story brings comfort to people who have gone through the same thing or at least close enough. Let's start this off from the beginning...

5 days. 5 days is what it took to convince the psych ward that I was stable enough to go home. 5 days I had to endure daily therapy and talk to people I didn't know because I decided it would be a good idea to tell my counselor I attempted. 2020 was a bad year for all of us. I was told endless times how selfish I was for doing that to my parents and my family. But none of them helped me when I needed it and I suddenly decided to care when I was close to being gone. 

I looked into my mother's eyes the day she came to get me from the hospital. No one knew I was out and I didn't want anybody to know. She had a look of sadness and happiness all in one, breaking my heart. 

"Ya estas lista? Tienes todo?" (are you ready? Do you have everything?). She asks me as we head to the front of the building to leave. "Si, ya vamonos. Estoy MUY cansada y extrano mi cama" (yes, lets go. Im VERY tired and I miss my bed). "Ok, mi Princessa Hermosa, Vamos mi amor" (okay my beautiful princess, let's go my love). She tells me with a small smile, hiding her sadness. 

We step out into the cold February air and I take a moment to fully indulge in the light that I hadn't seen in days. I know that it sounds crazy like if I had been locked up for ages but that's how it was, that's what it had felt like. I had not been able to go outside because I refused to believe that I deserved fresh air and sunlight after what I had done. 

I take a long deep breath and look over at my mom. "I'm sorry Mom. I didn't know how much of a mess this was going to be. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was supposed to be gone and out of your hair," I said to my mother as she refused to look me in the eyes. I felt horrible. I didn't want to feel anything but numb in that moment.

We walked to the car going to our respective sides. My Mother got into the car and I wondered why she hadn't opened the door yet, then I remembered that the key fob hadn't worked for ages. She unlocks it and hops in as I wait for her to unlock the car. I hopped in and let out a deep sigh when she asked me panicked, "Are you okay? What do you need? Do I need to take you back?!". I chuckle lightly, "Mom, I'm fine. Just a bit tired is all." She lets out a relieved sigh. 

We begin the excruciatingly awkward ride to the store to get food for dinner as I stare out the window to avoid further contact. I should've said something to the doctors so I wouldn't have had to go back home. Don't get me wrong I love my family but it wasn't the most stable household and I couldn't blame them for not talking to me when I inevitably got home. We arrived shortly at the store and got a few things to make menudo, which just so happened to be my favorite comfort food. 

Heading home was a mess. My mom could not stop telling me how much my brothers cried because of my absence. Which I doubted was true. She would then proceed to tell me all the rules and regulations that I would have to follow being home, which I knew I knew I wasn't going to follow. I started to recognize the route we were on and my heart was slowly beating out of my chest. I didn't want to go home as if I could even call it that anymore. I hated it there. That house was the whole reason why I was unstable. 

Every room and every door in that house held a horrible reminder of me walking through those rooms, blood dripping from my arms completely oblivious to the people around me. I get up out of my seat, shut the door, and walk to the house my heart beating incredibly fast out of my chest. She unlocks the door and I'm met by my brother Jaden as he gets off his Zoom meeting with his class. "SISTER!!!" he gets up off the couch and jumps over to me hugging me as if it was the last hug he'd ever be able to give me. "I thought you were never coming back, don't ever leave me like that again," he says with tears in his eyes and his voice cracking.

I hug him tight to my chest, my height giving me the advantage. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise". If only that was true. I sit down with him talking until my mom so gracefully interrupts to tell me to tell my dad I was home. I stand up and start walking over to their room. Knocking on the door it opens revealing my dad, he has a look of shock and sadness on his face. "I'm back," I say with slight embarrassment lining my voice. He doesn't say anything to me and just nods sitting back down on the bed. I could tell he started crying which had proven to me that he didn't know I was coming back today. 

I felt absolutely horrible. I caused so many people pain without meaning to. But at least I was okay. Slightly. I left the room and decided to go lie down and bask in the emptiness of my bed. I walk downstairs feeling the creaking on the steps as I go down them. Making it to my room, I stop in front of the door a singular tear falling from my eye. I put my hand on the knob and turn it hearing it creak open from the rusty hinges that I never cared enough to fix. I walk in and take in my surroundings. 

Christmas lights surrounded the edges of the walls, my bed messy, clothes on the floor, an eternity candle still lit allowing the nostalgic lime coconut scent to linger. I head towards my bed somehow not being able to lay in it. I thought I was never going to come back to this bed so I faced mere disappointment when I eventually sat down on it. I felt like I was being watched so I looked towards the door seeing my mother staring at me tears forming in her eyes. "I missed you so much my love, I didn't think they'd let you back this quick", "Yea...I didn't either..." I answered with a disappointed sigh. 

"Your brother is going to the mall with his friends later and wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go...". I rubbed my face knowing that he didn't say that and that it was my mom's attempt to make us get along. "Yeah sure whatever, who's all going, and can I bring a friend?" I had the perfect person in mind. I made a few friends in the psych ward and secretly exchanged our numbers. "yea sure, just let her know to meet you guys there. I don't give rides for free." Somehow I knew she was going to say this but I let my friend know either way. 

I got dressed in some jeans, a hoodie, and some shoes that had laces since they took mine away at the ward. I let my hair down to flow down my back even though it wasn't very long. We headed towards the car and started the journey to the mall. This was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment, but according to my psychologist, it was the best decision I could've made instead of dwelling on my thoughts. We eventually made it and I stepped out heading towards the front. I didn't want to be around anybody at all today. But looking back, this was the best decision I could've made. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                        

SOOOOO, how yall like it? This is my second time attempting to make a story so I hope it was everything and more!!! Please leave a comment and a vote if you liked it! Until next time!!