𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 ; Conan Gray [eng]

𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈

"What does a romance writer do all alone on the eve of Valentine's Day?" asked the interviewer.

Conan Gray, the writer of the moment, could only laugh in response. He had no idea.

"But you have plans I guess, right?"

"Not really" he answered with a shrug.

"Are you aware of the impact your first book had? Now is like some kind of tradition in Valentine's Day to gift star sweaters just like the one John knitted for Heather!" while the interviewer was commenting on this, the drawings from the illustrated edition of the book were shown, as well as photos of the fans.

Conan smiled widely. "Seeing all this pictures from the fans is just awesome. I can't explain how happy they make me feel".

"We're receiving a lof of messages from them..." said the interviewer checking his ipad. "Hear this: 'we're just trying to give you back at least a little of all the happiness you have given us with your stories'"

Conan felt like crying as soon as heard that. Because of the joy he felt, but also because he was worried about what everyone would think when they find out the truth.

"...Continuing with comments from fans... Here we have some questions. This one says: 'what do you think your ex-partners think seeing everything you've achieved?' Such a good question! In fact, Conan, you've never really talked about your love life".

Conan felt like spilling his guts out. "In fact... Well the truth is... I've never dated anyone".

The interviewer laughed out loud. "What?! Are you kidding me?"

"It's true..." he sighed. "Falling in love is so scary, and it's so embarrassing, and it's so vulnerable and, I think when I was younger it was easier for me to be like: 'I don't wanna be in love, that's stupid'. But nowadays I do wanna be in love, it's just, it's so scary... And I feel like being a writer doesn't really help me with that".

"What do you mean?" The entire interview had been very relaxed, but now the interviewer was serious, waiting for the answer.

"In my stories I am in control. I know my characters better than anyone, and that allows me to consider all the possibilities that may arise as a result of their actions... I create my own stories; I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence, so I wrote about it".

"That book, the first one, is just beautiful" the interviewer interrupted.

"The thing is, it's very difficult for me to get rid of that writer configuration, and life doesn't work like that. So next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense. But for now I'm only people watching" and they laughed.

"Another comment: 'being loved by a writer must be incredible. I hope that the person who has the opportunity to be with Conan knows how to value it.'

And thus the interview ended. After taking photos and signing copies, Conan was on his way to the park he always went to whenever he had a block. He's been going to that place a lot lately. But it felt different than other days. He was happy. He felt relaxed having confessed all that. Since his first book was published he had been feeling like an impostor, and finally he didn't have to carry it anymore.

He sat down on the usual bench and opened his notebook. He had never felt so ready to write as he did that day. But once he had that blank page in front of him, he felt like his world fell apart.

He could only search through the pages, rereading everything he had written over and over again, realizing that he had too many unfinished ideas.

After a while, he looked up from his notebook and instantly regretted having done so. He could see a ridiculous amount of couples hanging out in the park.

What does a romance writer do all alone on the eve of Valentine's Day?

He still didn't have an answer.

Why does he do this? He didn't know too. Does he do it just to live through it vicariously? Or maybe he is focused on writing those stories because he doesn't want to be in love really. After all, after imaging a lot of cute stories, no one would be enough. He will end up all alone cutting people out like tags on his clothing.

Again, he felt like spilling his guts out.

Night was falling, the park began to light up and Conan decided it was time to return home. It would be another day when he would return with nothing new in his notebook.

"Please wait!" he heard as soon as he got up from the bench. He looked to his left seeing a boy running in his direction.

"Hello, excuse me!" he greeted, trying to catch his breath once he was in front of Conan. "I went almost all over town looking for a copy of your latest book! It's sold out everywhere, congratulations!" Conan smiled and felt his eyes begin to sting. Every time someone said something to him about his books he wanted to cry.

"To be honest..." the boy continued. "I haven't read your books, but I want to read the second one. My girlfriend loves you! She became your fan because of that book. She says it reminds her of how we met..."

Conan kept his smile without knowing what to say as he reviewed that story he had written a couple of years ago

That wasn't funny, but she laughed so hard, she almost cried. They're counting months they've been together, almost forty-nine. He's making fun of how she acted 'round the holidays. She wears a ring, but they tell people that they're not engaged. They met in class for metaphysical philosophy. He tells his friends, "I like her 'cause she's so much smarter than me". They're having talks about their futures until 4AM...

"Anyway, in a few days it's Valentine's Day so I want to give her your latest book, could you sign it?" the boy asked, his eyes shining with emotion. That image gave Conan a lot of tenderness.

"Of course" he responded, taking the book and his pen. He sat down once more and rested the book on his lap. He thought for a few seconds about what he should write. He still wasn't used to that kind of thing. Finally he wrote:

"To the best girlfriend and fan in the whole world. Thank you for supporting me, happy Valentine's Day! CG <3"

The boy did not resist and hugged him, showering him with words of gratitude, before leaving. But Conan stayed there.

And once he lost the boy from sight, he picked up his notebook again.

"I'm happy for them. But I wanna feel all that love and emotion. Be that attached to the person I'm holding. Someday I'll be fallin' without caution. But for now I'm only people watching".

It's been so long since I posted anything! I hope you like this one shot a lot. Thank you for reading! 💕✨