Heal Me

CHAPTER- 5

 

Eva's POV

I was talking to pack members, when I got the scent of the people, who shunned me from their lives like I am nothing but a plague. My feet were jammed and the gravity feels twice its amount. But they are just mere people they doesn't matter at all, or that's what I am telling myself. After my conversation with elder Adam, my hate for anyone has ceased to non-existent. The truth is I'm powerful, I know it and they know it too.

As the distance between us reduced, a wave of hollowness followed. I know they are close, but my eyes remained on the other pack members in front of me. They all stood up from their seats, mainly in respect of their leaders, to greet them. Their hearts, some fearful ones, some at peace, slowed down at a synchronized pace. The trust and appreciation along with a prominence of respect is visible in their eyes. I don't have a single memory of feeling something like that and I doubt I'll ever have one. My confines which are difficult to explain but they are there, with me, always with me.

In a matter of seconds they all stood there, the Alpha, Luna and the Beta couple. I could feel their gaze on me, like trying to study me, unlike others there wasn't fear but an anticipation of Goddess knows what. I turned towards them and made eye contact with Alpha Jamison, I bowed slightly to both the Alpha and Beta couple. I stood there expecting a response, but they all stood there silently. I don't know what should I say, do they expect me to exchange some pleasantries, I hope not. I looked at Alpha again and only at him, no one else. It wasn't to disrespect anyone but more of as to make my motive clear and the disinterest I have in this conversation.

 "Is there a problem sir" I asked him, when they all just stood, doing nothing but just looking at me.

 "No....no there's no problem" Alpha said, but the thing is what should I say next. Should I say happy to be back here, after you threw me out?

 "Welcome home Eva" Luna Gwen said, her voice same as before. "Thank you Alpha and Luna" though I don't like people calling me by my nick name, but I'll prefer particularly this greeting to be formal. "Alpha I'll like to take upon files of my duties and submit my documents, preferably in office". Awkwardness doesn't bother me, the situations I have been in, showed me worse than this, but still the silence here has a weird uncanny vibe to it. 

 "Sure follow me" Alpha said and walked in front of me, leading towards the office. I followed him without sparing any other glance to anyone. As I made my way to the office, the wind whispered a soft sob in my ears. A sob too quiet for human ears, nothing like the cries, I've heard after the battles, when they curse me, swear at me for killing their families or when they cover their kids eyes, so they won't look at a blood covered monster that only knows how to kill. No the sob was nothing like that, it was just like nothing at all, just nothing. I stopped thinking years ago. I used to find explanation to questions like why, what, when. But mostly 'why' and now nothing. No question matters anymore, at one point nothing matters, and at that moment you just have to sit straight and for once tell your brain to stop, while the world melts around you. You'll see the beauty of "NOTHING", how dubious and refined it is, and a bliss to empty soul.

Without stopping, I followed Alpha to his office. It has the same decor as the rest of the pack house, but more of a professional vibe. Alpha turned towards me. "Eva, I'm glad you came back, it must have been a long journey right, I think you should at least take a day to settle in before starting work and get to know others in tomorrow night's party" he said it with a smile, maybe it is awkward for him to. "Party what are you talking about" I asked even though I have an idea, what is it about. "For your welcome, a welcome party". I just nodded, there is no point in telling him that I'm not interested in a party, it'll just look like I'm a spoiled brat throwing tantrums around and of course they'll act all happy to have me back for the sake of pack, but it'll all be just a show. "I'll be there Alpha and here are my documents that'll be required" after giving them I excused myself, bowing to him as a greeting.