I can't sleep Should i get Lloyd? no! I don't wanna wake him up I only need fresh Air I go outside My head hurts Why am i seeing everything so blurry? I hold my hand on my face i was warm but i'm a cold person? my head start to hurt more Fuck fuck fuck am i sick?
I go back in my room
All the negative thoughts came all over me again and again and again
„useless"
„traitor"
No stop I'm good now i-i am— Tears running down my cheek
„What would you're parents say if they knew what you've done?" my mind said.
After that line I fell on the floor I couldn't help myself as i start crying
After a while my eyes were red
I need Lloyd I stand up, my whole body was shaking
I hate beeing like this i feel so weak and useless i hate feeling or Talking about them anyways
In go to Lloyds room
„L-Lloyd?" i said quitly
...
He turned around in my way
Lloyd looked me
„rumi?" he said with a sleepy voice
„What is—„
He cut hiself as he realized i cryed and he jumped out of his bed
„Is everything okay?!!" he said worried"
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(There is a picture i found on pinterest)
„Lloyd i—„
i lost Control over my body and fall in his Arms, he said my name but everything went black
——————————— Time skip ———————————
„He deserved better"
„he will never love you"
„You're family hates you"
„You're a mistake"
„you can't be trusted"
...
No stop make it stop
„Stoop"
I screamed out waking up Oh shit not a Nightmare again
„Rumi! you're awake" Lloyd said sitting on my bed
„How are you Feeling" he asked worried
„Better but i had a nightmare again"
„again?"
„yes,...D-do you wanna stay with me?"
He grin
„Oh yeah? If that's the order from the princess? ~how could i say no?"
I giggled
———————- time skip ———————-
I woke up alone
„Lloyd?"
Where is he?
I heard footsteps
„Good Morning princess" „Good Morning"
He bring me tea
„Drink this it helps" „Thank you"
„rumi do you wanna Talk about what happend?"
„What do you mean?"
„You're eyes still are a little red from crying at night"
„Oh well just my thoughts again"
„Any way i could help?"
„I don't know"
Wu came in
„Good Morning Harumi, how are you? lloyd told me what happened."
„Good Morning wu, i'm doing better but as i said to Lloyd i still have negative thoughts about myself and about my past"
„Well maybe i can help"
„How?" i asked
„with meditation"
„Well i can try it"
I trink my tea and we go to wu meditation room
„Lloyd leave us alone now" wu said „Yes" he turned to me „call me If you Need anything" I nodd
Wu and i sit down
„Close you're eyes"
„feel you're feeling and listen to what they say they wanna be heared"
„Let the past be behind you, remember the good and accept the mistakes you made so you can lern from it"
„What do you feel?"
„I feel bad for what happened i let myself control by anger"
„Well you can lern how to control it"
„i'm trying"
„That is enough, i see how you wanna be good and that is a good start"
I opend my eyes „I don't know how but it really helped"
„Well that's why i love meditation"
„but what about my nightmares?"
„well if you negativ thoughts stop than the nightmare will too"
He Said giving me a cup of tea
I smiled
„Thank you wu" „That's what a family is here for".
I hugged him „Yeah you're right"
I stand up happy He was right i am trying to be good
