𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟔𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟗

Dear universe...

Tomorrow, I will have a good day. I will have a good day and I will definitely make sure that the person around me will have a good day. Nothing will stop me, because I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for a day like this to roll around.

But let's go back a little. I do have some things that need to be said, some updates that need to be made. So here we go:

As I said in my last post, it was my birthday on Wednesday and now I am an adult - yes, I know, me! I wasn't expecting a lot from it, to be brutally honest, but it was a very special day. It was the first proper birthday I have had since before all of the madness and hurt tried to ruin and end my life, and I'm so grateful to my parents for actually trying for me. They didn't have to do as much as they did. After all, I did almost ruin their lives. I woke up and went downstairs to see that there were gifts and cards sent from people who love me, and I just needed to be ready to give them a chance. Well, it's taken some years of trying and failing, but I'm ready now. It was a special day, and one that I'm going to ensure that I hold in my mind for quite some time. Eighteen is looking good, I can't lie.

On a more serious note, though, I am getting more worried about my sister. I said this last time as well, without any rhyme or reason, but I have something to go off of now. One tiny, miniscule hint. It may contradict everything she is saying to me, but I have an inkling and a reason to believe that I am, in fact, on to something. The thing is - and this is going to sound completely absurd, I'm aware - she is wincing. Visibly wincing every time that I hug her or even just touch her arm. I probably wouldn't think anything of it if I hadn't been there, I can see why my parents are yet to see anything. But I've been through some shit, and I can see my little sister is starting to slip, even if she can't recognise it just yet.I've told her that I'm there for her if she needs me, that she can tell me anything and everything that's on her mind, but she is still maintaining her usual persona. So I'm worried, but I'm unable to do anything. I guess I've just got to keep watching.

That's my update done, now onto tomorrow.

Tomorrow, on the seventh of June, I shall show my best friend the world how I see it, in the most accessible way that I possibly can. Because she is the one person I know who has seen the universe through the same warped lens as I have. But tomorrow, we will look up at the stars and be together while we do it, not miles away from each other. There's something about stars that I like, but it isn't because they make me feel small or because they're pretty or because they are always there, although those are all valid reasons... The reason I like the stars is because there is always going to be somebody looking up at them at the same time as you, and that person is probably going to feel a very similar way to you at that moment. Watching the stars next to someone is a very peaceful and comforting thing to do. I take comfort in knowing there are others out there, and that's ok :)

Anywho, time is getting on... See you soon, universe. You're doing a good job right now.

Lots of love,

Annie xx

Posted at 22:54pm on Saturday the 6th of June 2009

1 comments:

@lostcqlibre - I can't wait... You're actually the best <3 Only twelve hours to go now...