What do you want from me?

Chapter 1 *edited*

"Kai!" I run towards my friend as he welcomed me into a hug. He held me tight and rubbed my back for a moment before pulling away and looking me over. He watched the tears running down my cheeks.

"Bells, what's wrong?"

I let out a long sigh. "Kai, everyone hates me. I've lost my third best friend in two years. THIRD!!! Why does this keep happening to me?! I can't take it anymore!"

He led me over to some seats in the busy airport while we waited for our flight. "Bells, nobody hates you. Don't say that."

"Cece does! Kai, she doesn't even talk to me....she's friends with Anna now. ANNA!! The same Anna that annoyed the heck out of her a few months ago. I don't know what happened! Things were fine a month ago at our winter retreat! Or she acted like they were. Why didn't she say anything?!?"

"Bells-"

"Kai, I can't do this again. Not for the third time. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. It hurts so bad. I want to cry all the time. And punch someone. At the same time. I...Kai..." Tears form in my eyes again and spill over onto my cheeks.

"Oh Bells..." He looks at me sadly. "I know it hurts. I know it's hard. But you will get through this. I know it doesn't seem like it right now. But you won't let this break you. You deserve so much better."

"Yeah...that's what makes me mad. If she never cared, why were we even friends in the first place? I. DON'T. UNDERSTAND. She didn't even tell me anything was wrong! I had to confront her about it! Aghhhh! I hate it! I hate it so much. She was my BEST. FRIEND. The closest friend I've ever had! We understood each other. She knew everything about me. We're like soulmates. I don't understand....why would she....did I do something wrong? I don't even know what I did wrong!!!"

Kai rubs my back. "I doubt you did anything wrong. And even if you did, it was her fault she didn't talk to you about it or give you a chance to fix it."

"Yeah...I suppose you're right." I pause. "I just wish I could fix it. That's all I want. I just want my best friend back."

"I know you do, Bells. I'm sorry."

"Dude I bet she doesn't even miss me. She's probably a-okay with just having her boyfriend and that's all she needs. UGH! Not that there's anything wrong with having a boyfriend. But he shouldn't be your entire life. Like you. You aren't my entire life. I still have other friends. Or...I did....and now I'm super sad about this whole thing. I bet she isn't even sad about it. She acts totally normal and has a ton of fun hanging out with Anna." I growl. "It makes me so mad."

Kai places his hand on my shoulder as he tried to calm me down. "I bet it does. For someone that used to act like she cared about you a lot.....yeah I don't know what happened, Bells. It really sucks and I wish I could make things better for you. I know this is so hard."

I nod as tears flow down my cheeks. "I miss her, Kai," I whisper. "I just miss her. I miss her so much. Why did she have to leave me. I just want my best friend back. I miss our inside jokes, I miss our hugs and playing with each others hair.  I miss asking each other how our days were and helping each other through things. I miss having someone I could text at any time. I miss having someone that knows everything about me, and who I was completely comfortable around, for the first time. Who I could be myself around. And that really understood me. I just...I just want her back." I bury my head in my hands and cry harder.