Letting Go (#JustWriteIt 30-Days Challenge)

Bridge

And I know just what it's like to be out and on my own

And I know what it is like to let go

This time I was staring at a beach and some plastic bottles on the damp sand. Plastic bottles were scattered and the lids were open. One of them had a piece of photo rolled in it. There were some paper boats with Teanna's writings all over them. I could see the Before You Exit's VIP ticket and a piece of paper - still unfolded unlike the other papers with Teanna's writing on it. It looked like a letter but, it didn't. Teanna had let go a few things into the water, let them float their way across the ocean and ended up somewhere beyond the continent. From what I could fathom from sailing the ticket away, she was trying to let go the mementos of her life. The weird thing was why would she left a few of them hanging on a tree. If she wanted to let go all of the sweet things she had been through, she wouldn't make the photos and notes stay on the tree.

Each photo that Teanna had taped to her bedroom walls had changed my perspective towards her. Slowly, she had morphed into a mystery to me. A sister that I'd never expected that I would have. I didn't know what Mom and Dad would think or say if I told them about all of Teanna's scheme before incapability struck her. They wouldn't be mad because it was Teanna, their most precious diamond. What did Teanna expect me to do from the photo? I wouldn't sail all of the tokens from my journey. Not even all of the things from this journey that I had jotted down.

My head was loaded with Teanna's unexpected quirk and mystery. I tried to sleep along the way in the bus but, headache made my mind fail to settle into sleep. Riley and I exchanged email address and asked me to email him when I reached home and anytime that I felt like talking to someone. I like how nice he was. I hoped we can be good friends after this. He said that already to me. Honestly, I was carried away by the thought of being a pop star's good friend.

Fatigue devoured me like a monster as I arrived my residence. Mom didn't ask me anything about the trip. She gave me a light smile from the couch where she sat when I came in. I crashed my body onto my bed, ready to let sleep take my hands and bring me away from the reality but not ready yet to think of Teanna's photo. Sailing them away wasn't going to be in my finding-the-inspiration experience.

Now, just let me have some fun in my dreamland where Teanna did exist but, not as complicated as the Teanna I just discovered.

I woke up to the silence of my bedroom. I couldn't tell if it was night or morning but, my room was still dark besides the bedside lamp. All of the sudden, all the sleepiness was gone in a blink of an eye. I tried to fell asleep again but, it failed. I sat in the middle of my bed, staring into the dimness.

The first thing that came across my mind was Teanna's photo. Did she expect me to just let them go? The things that I had been through and seen were the best experience I had ever imagined for my whole life. The little library and the tree amused me in an exquisite way and I wanted to do that someday somewhere else. The bus trip had presented me views of the community and vacant places where people passed by but didn't stay. Meeting Before You Exit was one of the dreams of many girls out there but, I had the opportunity and I loved them. Spending time with Riley was the best among the best of my experience. If it wasn't for Teanna, I wouldn't end up being Riley's good friend. Those didn't deserve some kind of cheap shipping to who-knows-where. I took out the photo from my bag and scrutinized it again.

The paper boats were another mystery that added another thread to the tangling heap in my head. Were they from her diary? Or she just used the papers because she wanted to save papers?

Or maybe she wrote a manuscript.

My sister was always good with words but, she never admitted that she could write. Teanna always mentioned about her lack of writing skills and I would be someone different from her, a great writer. However, she had a short row of notebooks on her shelf that was forbidden to be read by anyone in the house including me. Sometimes, when I wanted to come into her room, I caught her writing something in one of those books. Every time I took my step in, she would keep the book immediately.

I went to her room and scanned her bookshelf for any hints of the notebooks but, found nothing. There must be something left behind. Even a single piece of torn paper from the notebook. I searched every nook and cranny of her room for them - under her bed which was perfectly empty, inside the drawers, behind the shelves, inside her dresser. Nothing.

Frustrated, I walked back to my room and lay on my bed, gazing the sight of the plain white ceiling. I groped the sheet for my cellphone and started to type.

'Ri, I don't know why but, I think I can't do things according to these photos anymore. Teanna becomes someone else and it frustrates me a lot for not knowing her that much. I'm confused. I just want to know the fact that as a sister, I know her more than anyone. Now, the photo is showing me like she was sailing away all of her tokens from her journey away and I don't want to do that. I love all of these experiences.'

I knew it was very late and Riley wouldn't reply. Surprisingly, an email came in. I read the name, Riley McDonough.

' You don't have to follow everything that she did. They're parts of Teanna's journey, not Reanna's journey. You're someone else with different qualities and talent. The lines behind the photo should be the bridge part, right? 'And I know what it is like to let go', is it? Maybe you can let go of something in a different way. Let's say, all of Teanna's 'will' photos for you. So that you can go out on your own, literally. Okay?'

Riley was right. I was bound by the shackles of Teanna's photos until I didn't realize that I should get out on my own and create my own journey. He was right. This would be the time of letting go.

'Okay.'