Grown-Up Stuff

Bookworm

"Oh my goodness..." Clay mumbled, a blush as pink as the hair on Floyd's magenta head dusting over his cheeks.

It was the fifth time already that he'd uttered a phrase of disbelief... and he wasn't even halfway through the first chapter! He didn't know how he was going to get through the remainder of the nearly 400-page book. The Troll paused for a second, taking a minute to imagine what it would be like for him and Viva to undergo the listed methods. Perhaps it wasn't the best of ideas, as the fantasy he envisioned was very vivid... so real, that he almost felt like relieving himself of the powerful urges that overcame him when thinking of his sweet, golden-haired girl. Luckily, he snapped out of the illusion at the sound of his brother's voice from the hallway.

"Yo, Clay!"

The lime-green-haired Troll yelped and, in an attempt to discard the book as quickly as possible, he thrust it to the floor and crossed his arms, trying to look inconspicuous.

Bruce turned the corner, smirking at his brother from the doorway. "Whatcha doing, cooped up in here by yourself?"

"Uhhh... maybe cuz this is my room?" Clay pointed out.

Bruce rolled his eyes. This sure was Clay's room all right, with how pristine and organized it was kept. Which is why the discarded book on the floor stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Oh, I see, catching up on some more of that sad-book reading, huh?" He stepped inside, picked up the book, and flipped through the pages. "Ayight, let's see the damages," Bruce said, taking a peek.

"Uh, I don't think you should do that," Clay urged nervously.

But Bruce dismissed him. "Pfft, Clay, you don't have to worry about me crying my eyes out. That's something you should worry about with Floyd," he chuckled. As Bruce kept looking at the book, though, his eyes widened, while Clay's closed in dismay. "OHHHHH... now I really see what this is about," Bruce commented.

Clay could hear the smile in his voice, as well as the sly intonation. When he mustered the courage to open his eye just a peek, he found he was right, with the way Bruce was grinning ear to ear at him.

"So, Clay, you sad that you aren't doing these things to her, or that she's not doing these things to you?"

Clay shut his eyes again and covered his face in his hands. "Bruce!"

The purple-haired Troll laughed. "I'm just playing with you, bro... I know that it's the first reason, since the book is called '1001 Ways to Pleasure Your Lady.'"

"BRUCE!"

He laughed again and put an arm around his shoulder. "Seriously, though, bro. I'm happy you're taking the initiative. A woman likes a man who delivers, after all. But you don't need to read this! You got me. And I got all the advice."

Clay shifted his eyes, uncertain how to word his next statement. "Yeeeah... about that, Bruce. No offense or anything, dude, but - you sure your ideas are gonna work the same way?"

The purple-haired Troll cocked his head. "Whaddya mean?" But then, Bruce figured out what exactly his brother meant. His relationship with Brandy - while full of love and intense passion that he wouldn't trade for the world - was an anomaly when compared with every other Troll he knew so far, simply for the fact that she was at least 10 times taller than him (and an entirely different species, at that!). What worked for him perhaps wouldn't work for a relationship among two Trolls. "Ah, I see your point there," Bruce agreed. But then he snapped his fingers as an idea hit him. "Say! You know who else might know?"

"Who?" Clay wondered.

"Branch!"

Ohh, of course! Clay's conscience cheered. Branch had Poppy, so surely he had some knowledge for how to make things interesting. "Huh, not a bad idea, Bruce," he said. "Thanks!"

"No problemo," Bruce said. Then he ushered him to the door. "Now, get to it!"

***

Clay was still getting used to how expansive Branch's bunker was. There were so many rooms and halls and secret passages that it'd be easy enough to get lost. Thankfully, Branch had given them all a tour (admittedly more than a couple of times) so that everybody could familiarize themselves.

And so, navigating to Branch's room this time around proved to be much easier.

"Yo, Branch!" he called from the hallway, just before turning into the room. He thought he heard Branch gasp, and the sound of something as it fell to the ground, but Clay didn't pay mind as he began to ask his question. "Bro, I was wonderin' if you could help me with something..."

"Uhh, sure Clay, what is it?"

Clay hung at the doorway, right away noticing Branch's failed attempt to be inconspicuous. The blue Troll's arms were crossed and, despite his grin, he looked discomforted by the sudden, unexpected presence of his brother.

And he figured out why right away, when his foot accidentally bumped into something on the floor. Clay looked down, seeing that it was in fact a book... a very curious one at that, just by the title alone.

Spice Up Your Life: Tips and Tricks for Bedroom Beginners.

It clicked as suddenly as a slap to the face would, and Clay suddenly felt things get very awkward. Very, very awkward.

Branch wanted to groan. Clay knew this because he himself had wanted to groan when Bruce had found his book and realized what was up. But Clay didn't pursue the matter the way his romance expert of a brother had. He rubbed his shoulder, clicked his tongue a couple of times like he was thinking about what to say, and ended up with "Hey! Um, actually... you uh, hehehe, ever just uh... walk into a room and just completely forget what you're gonna do or say?"

Branch nodded vigorously. "Oh yes, mm-hmm, total mind blankout. Yep."

"Right, right... yeah, um, so that's what just happened to me. Totally embarrassing right?"

"Oh, no worries, Clay. It's all good. Yep. No problems with me on that. Not at all."

"Right, right..." Clay was desperate to fill the silence that was starting to take over again, so he began to shuffle back out the doorway. "So, um, I guess I'll go now?"

Branch hurriedly affirmed in a vomit of words. "Oh, okay. Sure thing. It's alright. See you around. Talk to you soon. Catch you later. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Hasta la vista. Goodbye!"

"Um... ditto!"

The lime-green Troll almost tripped on his feet scurrying away.

Once he was a safe distance away to where he could feel the awkwardness dwindle away, he let out a breath of relief and really paused to ponder.

Huh, Clay thought, somewhat amused, somewhat befuddled. Guess Branch and I are floating on the same boat.