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Treyvon Jones
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Treyvon Jones

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Tap...tap... tap goes the sound of the pen as I continually tap it on the table with my head hanging down.

"You'll be devided in groups of three for this project okay?" the teacher announces and everybody groans audibly in the background, "no need to make a fuss about this. It's only a bit of research and a presentation after. Listen, I'll let you choose what you want to talk about.....how does that sound" he continues, but I don't pay any mind to what's going on.

I can't...

My phone's in my hand under the table. It's on as I constantly click on one particular picture, exit, press on message, exit, go back to the photo, zoom into the face, exit and repeat that cycle all over again as my leg anxiously shakes under the table.

Once again, I click on the photo revealing the picture of Austin and a sigh escapes my lips.

This is my fault.

I shouldn't have started this in the first place .

Now, it's been weeks and I don't know what to do.

Is he okay? Did he get in trouble because of me? I wanna know if he's alright so I can relax. The only way I could possibly hear from him is if I text him, but then again I feel like it's a terrible idea to do so.

What if his phone's been confiscated. It might get worse if I try to reach out to him. They might even use that to track me down just like the lady said. I have to be careful.

But that's the only way I can make sure he's good

But I'm worried that I might get him in more trouble

Fuck.

I can't decide, so the entire cycle starts again.

His photo, exit, dm, exit, his photo...wait let me zoom into his eyes a bit...

They look odd, more like different....a good different though. I can't lie. They're a distracting type of blue. It's like they're almost gray, but blue. It's a mixture of both that makes it seem as if they're shining. Does that even make sense.

What the fuck am I saying

I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that they look different. I've never seen that type of color before so they grab a lot of attention. Once you notice them, it's hard to look away.

Exit...

Dm...

I Swiftly type in 'hey' ready to tap on send, but then I contemplate for a while until I delete it again. I've never been so indecisive, it's crazy.

Is it because I'm scared that a simple text could jeapordize the whole plan?

That must be it. I need this for my mom. I can't fuck this up. I can't recklessly get in contact with him. The best decision is to wait.

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