Letters for my dearest moon.

Void

I never would have thought that entering your world feels like I am being sucked into this dark void.

Being lost between the difference of horizon of ruins and earth.

Everything is a mess inside his world.

Only a little light can pass through the world that he shuts at the face of the world.

"What are you doing here?" he asked while sitting on the sofa. I cannot see his face.

It feels like the fog is trying to prevent the moon from shining brightly.

"I came here to see you. How are you?" I asked. I could tell he was not okay. I could hear how rasped his voice was. He did not answer still — I already knew the answer to my question.

"Can you wait a little? I'll drive you home when I calm down." He answered. I was left standing at the side of his room.

I was just looking at him.

Who would have thought that 5 meters is a long distance?

It feels like I can't reach him.

I'm bound by the thought if I just — let him be or walk up, sit down, and be silent beside him.

I am left here standing.

It feels like his heavy breathing locked my feet here standing.

I don't know what to do.

Still, my guts told me to walk and sit beside the man — whom I know is becoming my everything even though for him — maybe I'm nothing.

I looked at him, just quietly staring at him.

"You know, part of me feels lonely when you're not around," I said, breaking the silence between us. He did not answer — I just let him.

"That's just your imagination," he answered.

"For you, it might be — for me, it's not." He looked at me — I kept my silence.

Lowkey, I know he might catch a glimpse of what I'm trying to say.

Or he might get that I like him.

"You're not safe here." He said, giving me his long pause. "I'm a mess."

"I know," I answered. "I know..."

"Better to stay at it is." He said — I stayed quiet. It hurts, but no tears fall.

I prepared my heart and mind for this answer a million times.

"Still..." I answer leaving a long pause.

My eyes kept staring at his wrist full of cuts.

"I'll stay here." I continued. "Deep down — I know you can't afford to be left here," I said while staring at this dark void.

"I will stay here like a cloud that needs to cover the moon when he wants to be — hidden. Forcing the rain and thunder to rampage so that — the moon can wail and weep over its broken pieces." I promised him.

He lay his head on my shoulder — and I felt his tears uncontrollably falling out of his eyes.

"Thank you."