Me,Myself,and I
I was 11 I was depressed,and suicidal.I was cutting myself.My dad and step mom put me in counseling,therapy,meds they tried everything but nothing worked.Later on,my dad sent me to a mental hostpital and I was taken into a car with metal bars in it and a stranger took me all the way to a hostpital in Oklahoma in the middle of the night.I'll be honest here.Going to the hostpital did nothing for me.It didn't help me get better because I was stupid and stubborn and refused to help myself.I was left with scars on my wrists,arms,and sides.I was scared someone would ask about them,make fun of them,or judge me because of them.At school I would wear hoodies year round to hide the scars.While scrolling on facebook I saw a quote and it stuck with me."We may lose sight of our feelings,our boundaries,and misplace our own worth and self-respect.From here,it can be hard to turn things around.But regaining that respect can empower you in the most amazing ways.You can take control of your life and make it what you want it to be."I got asked out by Aaron I've had a crush on for a while now.He wasn't the best.I've had a crush on him for a while.We started dating,dated for a few months.He cheated on me with a new girl at school.He dumped me on Christmas.I was heart broken.Later on she moved to a new town.He wanted to get back with me and said he loved and missed me.I stupidly believed him.He treated me like crap and manipulated me.I knew I deserved better but I didn't care.Later on after 6 months!6 freaking months!He dumped me and said he didn't like me as much as he used to.I was angry and hurt,I said some really hurtful things to him but hey he deserved it.I cried a lot.Later on,I realized I didn't deserve this.I deserved so much more.I didn't need him.After that I started to focus on myself. I slowly but surely started to realize just how horribly he treated me and how stupid I was. Him breaking up with me was a real eye opener for me. It make me learn to love and respect myself. Later on,I was asked out by an ex (Brandon) who treated me horribly,was embarrassed to be seen with me,and acted as if he owned me. He was a douche. Before all of this I would have said yes and jumped with joy at the thought of someone liking me. But now,I know he doesn't like me. He just liked my body. He was cocky,rude,and bossy. I didn't need someone like that. I didn't need someone bossing me around acting as if he owned me. I wasn't anyone's property. I am my own person. No one else. I am me. I do what I want,like who I want. After that I started wearing normal clothes and didn't care if people saw my scars. Did people say stuf? Yep. Did I care? Nope. In conclusion, even if you lose sight of your feelings,boundaries,worth and self respect,if you fight you will come back stronger than before.
