I don't understand
Why?
Why is that everything was good in the beginning but now it's not?
Why is there a pain in my heart?
How come it grows everyday?
I let myself sink to the floor in the kitchen while no one was around
I cried, I sobbed, I slammed my fists on the counter
I broke down once again, I thought I was okay now but clearly not
I thought I got better, no, no, no, it was juat hidden deep in the back of my brain laying in wait
Depression found me once again
I feel the cracks reforming, it was such a waste filling them in before
I hope and in my heart I long to leave my pain behind
My weaknesses hold me back every time
Am I being selfish?
Is it wrong to want to get away?
Does wanting to be free make me a bad person?
Heh Depression has lots friends
Anxiety, Fear, Hopelessness, Self-consciousness, Guilt
Each one helps keep me trapped in my own brain
I'm always afraid to speak
I scared of what people will think
I am slowly losing hope that I will ever feel happy
I worry that I am being dramatic, blowing things out of proportion
I feel guilt because I want to start anew away from everyone else
Is there something wrong with me?
I feel so alone
Nobody talks to me
When they do they say something to bring me down
They ignore me when I talk
They say they're not interested in what I have to say
I get shamed for being moody, snappy, angry, and avoiding people
I fell guilty when I get excited about the future
My graduation cap and gown is "dress up"
Getting accepted to college means nothing I, "won't make it"
I'm "not ready for the adult world"
I am told by some that they hate me, I feel like they all hate me despite what they say
They probably don't actually feel that way
They probably didn't mean the things they said the way I took them
But I can't ignore my feelings
I'll despise them if I do
I don't know what to do
I can't get the words out right
I try so hard and I fail
I wish I could breath
I hope I'll find the light
Please don't judge or shame me
I just wanted to let it out without the hardship of being confronted and being called the bad guy, or the one in the wrong once again
