Sinful Faith

Chapter 5

Like during every meal, Elizabeth sat next to her friend Maria. But this time, it felt different. There was tension in the air, none of them dared to utter a word. They ate their meal silently, not even looking at each other. Elizabeth felt bad about acting like that with her friend, but she realized that something was off. They had been friends for years, and yet, she never felt comfortable like she was with Sukebe. At first, she thought she was the problem, but Sukebe's existence made her doubt her previous thoughts. Actually, Sukebe made her think more than she ever did before, and made her more comfortable than she ever was. 
Elizabeth looked at Maria, she couldn't help but feel like they took a very different path, and she wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"You know, I told sister Sukebe about my past." Said Elizabeth, in an attempt to engage the conversation.

"And how did she react? I wouldn't be surprised if she just accepted you like that without even questioning you."

"Why would it not surprise you? A lot of people judge people based on their past."

"And only the devil would accept peoples' sins. It's not being kind, it's being manipulative. She's using you."

Elizabeth felt shocked upon hearing Maria's accusation. It was true that Sukebe was really understanding, but was it only for manipulation? She couldn't imagine Sukebe intending her any harm.

"If it's true, then God must have a plan for me. I trust sister Sukebe, and I believe that she trusts me, not out of malice, but out of kindness."

"All I'm saying is, don't come crying when she'll be done with you."

"Why so much distrust toward her? Is it really only because of her past?"

"Have you taken a moment to see how she acts? She never prays, barely dresses properly, and she always questions everything. Which you've been doing lately, she's not a good influence."

"But her faith and her kindness are the only things that matter. Yes, she may not act exactly like the Lord intended, but even He knows she's trying her best."

"Putting words in God's mouth?" Asked Maria with a disapproving glare.

"I'm sorry, but I'm sure he knows it."

"Didn't she tell you? She was a slave, most of the people here know it. The Lord must know more than anyone else about her past. She had an unholy past, she's lucky she's even here."

"Maria!" Scolded Elizabeth "Don't talk like that. If you learned to know her, you'd see how kind she is, how troubled her past was, and how hard she tries to get away from it."

"Once you've strayed away from God, there's no way back. It may be our duty to help lost souls, but it is a vain task."

"But look at me, I've changed my ways. I'm no longer the child who stole to survive, I'm a woman of faith, putting God before anything else. Don't you think others can too?"

Maria looked Elizabeth in the eyes silently and stayed that way without breaking eye contact.

"Elizabeth, you need to stop acting like a naive child and face the real world. God won't always be here for you."

Maria left, her meal finished. Elizabeth was still in shock, thinking about her words. Was she truly thinking like that? It was like the friend she had all these years just disappeared. Despite her hunger, she didn't find the strength to eat anymore and went directly toward her room.

Elizabeth was supposed to go to her room, but instead, she wandered around the monastery like a lost soul. She reassured herself by thinking that if Maria left her, she always would have God. All she needed to do was to have faith and everything would make sense. On the way back toward her room, she passed in front of Sukebe's. Sounds could be heard emanating from the room, it sounded like a guitar. It sounded more like someone practicing than someone being talented at it. 
Elizabeth knew she shouldn't, she had no reason to, but still knocked on the door. Her body was just acting by itself, and when her brain realized what she was doing she started to panic. Should she just leave? It would be rude to just leave, but what would she say then?
She didn't have time to wonder much longer, since the door opened, with Sukebe looking surprised to see her.