Deception and Desire

Chapter Eighteen - Worth it

⟪Kaden⟫

After getting out of the broken elevator, Lizzie and I headed back up to our room. She was quiet ever since the kiss. I shouldn't have kissed her. It was stupid of me. There's no way in hell it could end well. She doesn't want me. I don't want a distraction.

I can't afford a distraction.

I cast a glance her way, and a stupid thought creeps into the front of my mind.

But what if it's worth it?

I try to shake off the thought, but it was more difficult than I had anticipated. If a distraction came in the form of her pretty face framed by blonde ringlets and bright blue eyes that made me think blue was the most beautiful color out there every time, I'm not even sure I'd have the strength to turn it away. I'm not even sure I'd be able to call it such anymore. No, it wasn't a distraction. It was a reason to be better, a reason to win.

Maybe those thoughts crept into my head because she made a point to say that even when I lost there was still a value to me. Maybe it's because a loss didn't turn her away. I wasn't sure. But I was sure that this was going too far now. This wasn't supposed to go farther than being a mutually beneficial fake relationship. This wasn't supposed to end in me thinking about how soft her lips look–or how soft they felt now that they were pressed to mine. This wasn't supposed to end in me thinking about how I was supposed to do damage control before it was too late. But maybe it already was too late. Maybe I'd let this go too far.

Maybe I needed to nip this in the bud right now. Stop it all.

She wants nothing more.

Maybe I don't either.

Maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing.

That thought made me feel a hell of a lot better than the others had. It made things a hell of a lot less complicated too. It was my favorite of the thoughts I'd had in the last twenty minutes.

When we reached our room, I remembered one little problem. Or well should I say the king-sized problem.

One bed.

I glance down at my watch. Nine p.m.

One thing I'd learned from our two week long stay together is that Lizzie was in bed by nine or nine-thirty even if she didn't go to sleep. She would occasionally go out and get home late, but most of the time she liked to just read or watch really horrible reality tv.

So I wasn't surprised when she grabbed her bag and disappeared into the bathroom to change. Me, on the other hand, I hardly got to bed before midnight. Most days I would crash around one in the morning.

I pulled open the sliding glass door to the balcony, stepping out. The night air was cool, which calmed me a little. I turned to the hot tub, pulling the cover back and off. I'd kill some time out here to give Liz some space. I'm sure she wanted it after that stupid thing I'd done. I strip down to nothing but boxers and then sink into the hot water.

I shut my eyes, relaxing. The hot water helped with all of my aching muscles. Speaking of aches, I tried to ignore it. I really did, but the ache in my shoulder was more noticeable than it should be. I know I could've easily screwed my arm up again, but I couldn't let that happen. I'll just go get it checked once I get back home. I prayed it wasn't anything serious. I definitely can't afford that. I just got back in the ring. I can't get pushed out.

I reach up to rub my shoulder a little, hoping the pain would fade like the rest of my injuries from tonight.

"Kaden...?" Lizzie's voice made my eyes shoot open. She stood by the door now in a t-shirt and pajama pants. "Are you okay?"

The worry in her voice eased some tension out of my body.

"I'm okay, Liz," I told her. "You can go get some sleep, if you want."

"I just wanted to check on you," she says, stepping out onto the balcony and walking toward the hot tub. "I noticed you favored your arm earlier."

"I'm okay." I hope I am.

She nodded her head. "Okay, well, um, you should get some rest too, Kade."

"I will."

She brushed a piece of hair from her face, taking a step back. "Well, um, goodnight, then."

"Night, Lizzie," I say. Before she was completely out of reach, I sat forward and grabbed her hand.

She spun around to face me, eyes wide.

"Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for that pep talk earlier. You made me feel a little better about losing," I told her.

"It's no problem." She smiled. "You'll win next time, I know it."

I smiled back at her. "Goodnight, Lizzie."

"Goodnight, Kade." She gently pulled her hand from mine and walked back into our room.

+++

It was well after three in the morning before I got up the courage to slide into bed. I made sure to keep my distance from Lizzie's sleeping figure. I made sure to stay as far away as the bed would allow, which–shocker here–wasn't as far as I felt it should have been. I sank into the mattress, letting out a breath. Minutes passed as I lay there, eyes on the ceiling.

Then I felt a hand brush against my side. My eyes shot open and I tensed. I glance over. Lizzie rolled over, now facing me. She rested her head against my arm, still asleep. I turn my eyes back to the ceiling.

I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep until I woke up still lying on my back. I peel open my eyes, glancing down to see Lizzie tucked into my side, her head on my chest. I just lay there, not wanting to wake her. She shifted slightly, rolling over. Her head now rested on my arm, her hand on mine.

She stirred a little, groaning. She blinked, blue eyes dimmed by sleepiness. She must've realized where she was and immediately moved away from me. She stumbled out of bed, brushing her hair over her shoulder and blinking rapidly. "Sorry," she mumbled sheepishly.

"You're okay," I assured her.

+++

After we both showered and got ready, we headed down to the breakfast buffet that the hotel had. I sat with Alex and James at a table, each of us with a plate before us. I glanced over again. Lizzie still hadn't joined us. She was still talking to some guy over by the end of the line. She had a plate in hand as she laughed at something the blonde guy said.

"Dude?" James' voice pulled me from my thoughts and my eyes from Lizzie.

"What?" I asked, looking down at my plate.

"You've been out of it all morning, is everything okay?"

Alex scoffed. "Behind you, Jamie."

James turned to look, making me roll my eyes. When he turned back to Alex and I, he rolled his own. "What's the big deal?"

"I never said it was," I stated.

"You've been staring them down since you sat down."

"Man, I know you're worried about the problems from when you and Mandy were together, but I'm sure you and Elizabeth are going to be fine," Alex says, voice more serious than I'd heard in a long time. "She's not a crazy woman, you're not a psychopath, you're fine. Go get your girl."

"I trust her," I say, thinking about how she wasn't mine.

"But you trust blondie over there?" James asked, nodding to the guy.

"Not one bit," I answered. But she looked like she was having a nice conversation, like she was having fun. I didn't want to ruin that since we weren't really together.

"Then I repeat, go get your girl," Alex says.

"I trust her," I say again. "It's fine."

"Then maybe pay attention to the conversation we're having."

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. Hope you enjoyed!