Eternal Flame

Light the Way

Colin's breath had caught when he first saw her across the ballroom. She was beautiful. She was perfect, unlike anyone he had ever met. He wasn't much experienced in the subject of love, having only witnessed it through his parents as a child, but he was certain that's what this feeling was. He was fairly certain. Alright, he had thought it was love, but as their courtship continued, he was beginning to have his doubts. Should one not know the person they are about to marry? Should his family not have embraced Marina with open arms, as if she had always belonged with them? Should he not have told Marina he loved her too when she said it?

None of those things had happened, and now Colin was not certain of anything at all. Perhaps, love was different for all couples. Perhaps, even if he did not feel it now, his love for Marina would grow with time. When they married and got to know one another better, it would all make sense. Right? Bloody hell, he thought to himself.

Here Colin was promenading in the park on a random Tuesday, feeling aimless in life but with the most beautiful woman in the Ton on his arm. He was the envy of all gentlemen, and he keenly felt their scrutinizing stares as he and his fiance walked by. He should have felt proud, happy even, but outside of his usual insecurities about being a third son, all he felt was...well, nothing. He felt nothing. Should he not feel more than that?

"Mister Bridgerton, what is wrong?" Marina's cold yet gentle voice broke his stupor.

He straightened himself and quickly put on his familiar charming smile, pretending as if nothing was amiss. "Nothing at all, Miss Thompson," he waved away. And that was another thing. They were to be married in mere weeks, and yet he was still referring to her by her formal title. He had no desire to skirt the bounds of propriety with his intended, and found himself uneasy at the thought of anticipating their wedding vows. He tried to distract himself with other subjects of conversation. "I am merely pondering where we ought to take our honeymoon. Are you partial to Cyprus?"

Marina stared blankly, pondering the idea herself, then grimaced. "I have never been, but I am not a fan of the heat."

"Ah," Colin replied, swallowing his disappointment. "Perhaps Italy then? It is not quite so hot there, and I hear they make a special pasta sauce from crushed tomatoes," he added excitedly. "I have yet to try it, but it sounds delicious." His mouth watered just thinking about it. He hadn't eaten since second breakfast, and his stomach was quite loudly reminding him of the fact.

Marina, saint that she was, ignored it. Or perhaps she didn't care. In response to his suggestion, she pursed her lips together as if tasting a lemon. "Mmm, tomatoes are a bit too acidic for my taste." My, this woman was hard to please, Colin thought.

"Oh," he said, once again hiding his disappointment. "I suppose Pen did say...nevermind." He shook his head, reminding himself that this wasn't about Penelope, or what she had said in a drawing room some couple months ago. Nevermind the fact that every other one of his thoughts circled back to her in some way. 'Pen would love Cyprus. I would likely have to buy her several hats, or else she'd burn under the sun. She would gain a few cute freckles around her nose, though.' Nevermind the fact that he shouldn't be thinking these things about his friend, most of all, because he was engaged to her cousin. "Where would you prefer to honeymoon?" He asked, turning them about the park as Violet and the other Bridgertons staggered behind.

It was a shame that Penelope hadn't come out to promenade with the rest of her family, Colin thought. He hadn't seen her in days, outside of the passing glances from her bedroom window. He missed her. He was worried for her. He---oh, for heaven's sake, he was doing it again!

"Actually, I was thinking we could stay the off season in the country," Marina replied.

Once again, Colin tried to hide his disappointment in her answer. When they first started courting, Marina had been agreeable to almost anything he mentioned, and now it seemed they were surely complete opposites. He hoped they would find common ground on something. "Well, if that is what you would prefer. Anything you wish, I will endeavor to get it for you."