ᴛᴜʀɴ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛɪᴍᴇ~?

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 2: What do I know?

•••••••••••••••
¿𝒬𝓊ℯ 𝓈ℯ 𝓎ℴ?
••••••••;•••••••

I wish to forgive everyone that tried to warn me. I am so sorry, dad. My big hero. It's been two years - and my promises I made never got accomplished. Yet here I am sitting outside my friends balcony while he thinks I'm sleeping. I couldn't help but rethink everything that has happened.

Are you disappointed in me? Are you in disgust of me?

I know I wasn't perfect, man I wasn't even good to begin with. I wish to really turn back time. To go back and relieve all of that to just to notice all the wrong doing he was doing to me.

My life hasn't finished, yet I feel like all my motivation has completely vanished. I wasn't who I was yesterday - I was alright, and glad that it ended. So why am I feeling like this? If I knew it was wrong, why am I still grieving?

Why do I still miss his affection!?
Attachment issues.

Ever since growing up I would easily get attached to someone whenever they show little interest of me, even if it was giving me flowers. I used to like Minho, but he was just there to help..he never really did anything to expand our friendship to anything. I guess that made it clear we we're just friends.

Still otherwise I am so glad I have him because he would help me with everything including my relationship by giving advice. Sometimes I think to myself - what would I be going through without him, I'm so grateful

Then looking back and noticing how much I had him going through, yet I here complaining. Maybe Minho didn't even want to be friends, and I'm the one keeping him away from actually getting a life. Am I a problem?

On one side I been thinking of trying again and to start over, live a happy life you know? In the other side, I want to forgive, maybe not go back, but try to connect as in friend ways. Will it hurt me? Most likely..

•:•

Seungmin finally ended up sleeping in the end of everything, even if it took 4 hours. Thank goodness it's the next day.

Still I can hear Seungmin's snuffles from my room. However he's slowly going to be healing from the past, and he has, except Felix brought everything back! Another reason why I won't ever apologize nor forgive him due to so much pain he brought back to Seungmin.

Anyways, tomorrow I was thinking of taking Seungmin to go out somewhere if I have the chance. I am still think about it - a place where Seungmin hasn't gone with any of his exes.

Yet what do I know?

Seungmin has always told me multiple things that have happened with his past relationships, yet none of it was the full story. He would obviously and clearly leave some things out to make the person seem innocent as if they never did any wrong doing to him.

Even he would tell me he missed his ex's - even after says he wishes death upon them; he says that everything they have done to him to be double worst. Which makes me feel mix feelings to this. After every breakup; he would turn dull and not talk as much. Even though he is a very bubbly person.

Makes me sad thinking that he misses them so much even after what they did to him - If you didn't know he has been though multiple situations that I never though he has been though that..