In the Shadow of Regret (Sebastian Sallow Story)

Chapter Nineteen | The Truth behind the Nightmares

Caution
This chapter contains dark themes such as death and trauma. If you are sensitive to that please do not continue!!

"You don't need to walk me back," I say, "I already said I wouldn't go running off on my own."

"I am aware. However, it is courtesy that I walk you back to the dorm safely," Marvolo answers. I roll my eyes as I follow behind him.

I am not used to being escorted back to my dorm, especially after a night like this. I am still not entirely sure what to make of our little venture down to the ballroom. A part of me wants to believe that our relationship is nothing more than platonic. However, given the circumstances, I know that that would be a lie. Even I can't deny that this felt somewhat intimate, whether or not this is how Marvolo intended it to be. Still, I can't help but feel a bit guilty for spending my evening with Marvolo. I am fully aware of the kind of relationship he and Sebastian have, and it feels wrong that I am here with him after my fight with Sebastian. It feels as if I am going to Marvolo behind Sebastian's back. I know that I don't owe Sebastian an explanation on my part, I mean, why should I? We were never romantically involved ...at least not officially. We never had the proper chance to explore that part of ourselves... and now we never will.

"Is everything alright?" Marvolo asks as he pulls me away from my thoughts.

"Sorry... I was just thinking." I answer hoping he doesn't press the issue further.

"Having second thoughts?" He responds with his back still turned towards me.

"Second thoughts about leaving?" I awkwardly laugh trying to break the looming tension between us.

"About being with me?"

My stomach clenches at his response. How did he know that? I take a second to compose myself before responding.

"I don't like it when you invade my thoughts. It's very rude and a complete invasion of privacy." I snap at him.

"Who said I was reading your thoughts? It was merely making an observation." He says as he stops to look at me.

"I am just wary of your intentions... You bringing me down to the Ballroom felt a bit... intimate. And I will have you know that I am not looking for anything at the moment."

Marvolo is quiet. I muster whatever strength I have in me to not back down from his gaze. Marvolo tilts his head to the side and gives me an amused look.

"I will assure you that my intentions are pure, well as pure as they can be based on my standards. If a friend is what you seek, a friend is what I will be. However, I can still see that your loyalties still lie with Sallow."

"No," I quickly sternly interject, "My loyalties are to myself and myself alone."

"To yourself?... Then why do you continuously insist on salvaging your relationship with Sallow?"

"It's... complicated," I say, avoiding his gaze.

"You don't owe Sallow anything... He left you," He says as he nears in proximity. "He has done nothing but push you away. And from what I've gathered he abandoned you in your time of need. If he truly cared for you... he would have stood by you. I just don't understand why you continue to waste your time on someone who does not share your devotion. For someone incapable of choosing you."

The weight of his words delivers an excruciating blow and I am left speechless at his sudden assertion. My eyes meet his and the last bit of strength holding me together vanishes. My vision is immediately blurred as tears begin to stream down my face. I bring my hand up to my face and quickly wipe the tears from my eyes. However, despite my best attempts, I am unsuccessful.