That time I was reincarnated into SCP

SCP-279-J

Before we can start on to this entire thing here I just want to inform you all of this is just from SCP-WIKI, I don't own this or take credit for it, though however I added more words to it here and there and added more test log info and more to it in this and dear God I was up at 3 AM doing this and you don't have to read this if you want it's pretty long as to 4027 words.

Item #: SCP-729-J

Object Class: Keter Thaumiel123

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-729-J currently resides in Dr. Niles Hessen's office on her desk. Where, pray to God, it will stay. Request testing at your own risk. It breaches containment at an alarming frequency, but even MTF Nu-7 ("Hammer Down") refuses to go near the fucking thing to secure the ungodly thing but other then that it does whatever the hell it wants. We are all at its mercy. Dr. Hessen has been commanded to turn in SCP-729-J for it to be properly contained...as soon as someone can get up the courage to write her an email.

Description: SCP-729-J is SUPPOSED to be just a toy, but I want to know who the sick fuck was that wanted to give this damn thing to children. The label SAYS it's made of polyester fiber, but we all know it's made of the devil's couch stuffing. Or something.

Its reign of terror began during a containment the breach of SCP-106. SCP-106 had managed to trap Dr. Hessen inside her office and had successfully corroded a hole in the door when it caught sight of that goddamn thing SCP-729-J. SCP-106 stopped moving completely and began staring at SCP-729-J, showing not even a single interest in Dr. Hessen. SCP-106 then began quickly moving away from the damn thing backwards out of Dr. Hessen's office, never breaking visual contact with that eldritch horror SCP-729-J, until it reached the end of the hall and promptly rematerialized back in its containment cell. It also should be noted that SCP-106's middle fingers were raised for the entirety of the encounter with SCP-729-J. SCP-106's reaction is, frankly it's perfectly understandable, and also several researchers who witnessed the event were found huddling with SCP-106 in its containment cell.

TESTING LOGS:

SCP-2006

Effects: SCP-2006 screeched upon being introduced, and assumed a form identical to SCP-729-J. SCP-2006 has not changed form since the encounter.

SCP-1322

Effects: SCP-729-J was sent through the wormhole to the SCP-1322 society. It was then returned 6 minutes later, tied to a white flag.

SCP-303

Effects: When Dr. Hessen was told to walk through a door with 303 on the other side while holding SCP-729-J, SCP-303 promptly opened the door for Dr. Hessen and ushered her through before quickly exiting the room, with Dr. Hessen showing no sign of the usual fear response. SCP-303 was found six hours later in an abandoned storage closet in a fetal position, sucking its thumb.

SCP-3000

Effects: SCP-729-J was put on a fishing hook and lowered into the sea, to where the current position of SCP-3000 was found with radar. After 2 hours of lowering it into the sea, Dr. Saarland complained about a cramp in his hand from unwinding the fishing pole and Dr. Bayer took over. Another 50 minutes later the assumed depth of SCP-3000 was reached. After 2 minutes, a tug was felt on the fishing pole and SCP-3000's presence swiftly disappeared from the radar. As Dr. Bayer also complained of his hand hurting, retrieval of the end of the fishing line was postponed.

I told them both they should do stretches beforehand, but no, "We play Halo every Friday!", "Our wrists are trained!". Should have listened. - Dr. Baden

The next day, after proper warmup, SCP-729-J was successfully retrieved, along with a crudely written note attached to it, reading: Alright, I thought we had a deal. I turn some consciousnesses to spaghetti, and you guys get your regrety-forgety. But, okay, you won. You get the forgety stuff for free. Lifetime supply. But please, just this one condition! Keep. That thing. Out. Of. My. Ocean! I'll go for a while. I need to calm down.