That time I was reincarnated into SCP

Things Dr.Bright is not aloud to do

This was a pain to memorize all of this word for word in its exact list but non the lest I finally got this done and probably soon I can make the Prologue for this, though I did add some of my own into this list, I also edited to be spaced out so you can comment on your favorite one on here.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to feed anything with peanut butter to Kain.

Telling new researchers that you can tame SCP-682 with a rolled up newspaper and a tummy rub is right out.

Dr.Bright is no longer allowed to challenge Able to unwinnable games like tic-tac-toe. It was three weeks before Able conceded a draw.

SCP-018 is not to be taunted!

Giving 113 to Diogenes is just plain pointless.

Attempting to disprove 343, to 343, is a horrible idea. Agents are still studying the resulting paperweight, supposedly so heavy that 343 should not be able to lift it.

While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only because there is no such thing.

Dr. Bright is not king of anywhere. Or queen.
SCP-963 is not to be used for recreational or procreational purposes.

Although it is entirely possible to use SCPs currently under control of the Foundation to create tentacle monsters, no.
Not even if Dr. Palmer asks nicely.

There is no market for SCP brand pornography.
No, not even in Germany.
It probably would generate a great deal of revenue if sold in Japan but still, 682 on █████, Jesus Christ man.

Should not replace the buckshot in Dr. Clef's shotgun shells with any of the following: birdseed, confetti, cake sprinkles, sawdust, or sexual lubricant.

Should not replace Dr. Rights' lamp with a "novelty" lamp shaped like a marital aid.
Should not replace Dr. Rights marital aids with a 'novelty' aid shaped like a lamp.

The Better Business Bureau is not the correct agency for dealing with containment failures from horrible eldritch artifacts sold by Marshall, Carter, and Dark.

Dr. Bright must never come in contact with anyone under the age of 18. Let him contact them. It's the only way they'll learn. Just because it is a learning experience, does not mean anyone needs to come in contact with Bright.

Any requests by Dr. Bright to utilize SCP-212 for enhancement are to be denied, due to several requests being submitted with the research goal stated as "to stick my privets in it and hope for the best."

This includes requests to use it for enhancement of other organs. I don't care how awesome you think it would be, Bright. You should not be allowed to have telekinesis.

Victims of SCP-217 are not toys.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to bargain with personnel for their "souls" if they are unaware of SCP-158, especially even if Dr.Bright could get you a good deal on it.

Don't let Dr. Bright get a sample of SCP-379. Let my laptop be the last victim.
Not allowed to go off my medication.
Not allowed to pretend I have any medication to be on.

May not use any form of the word 'accident' as an excuse.
Violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.
No matter how many times you say please, Dr. Bright, we won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.
Nor are you allowed to create and wear hats made using or out of various anomalous objects. We understand that your SCP-894 top hat collection has some tactical value, but that is not a valid reason to wear them in the presence of other researchers.

If an SCP file says never to do something, it is not because we want to control your mind. Yes it is.
No, it's not, and Dr. Bright may not edit this document.