The Lamb

Prologue

"You look beautiful, Nina," my mother smiles down at me, her eyes flitting over my face softly, gingerly. She looks at me with care, lingering on the tears that pool at the corners of my eyes. She wipes them away. I hold her hand to my face.

The memory of her, with this same loving look in her eyes, overlaps, a much smaller, much happier me whispers back: you look pretty too, Mama.

"So do you, Mama," I whisper, maybe out of habit, but as my eyes take her in, her skin still plump and supple despite the years, her dress a flattering pale pink, I mean it. "You really do look beautiful."

She smiles wider, squeezes my shoulders looking into the mirror in front of me.

"You're too kind to your mother," she waves me away, carefully tucking aside a hair. "It's why I worry about you so much. You're too kind."

She pauses. Looks away.  I'm too kind. I smile, and touch her hand.

"It's a prophecy, Mama. I'm not being kind. It's my duty."

She turns away and tucks her fingers together behind her. "Why must it be you? Why can they not send someone in your stead?"

"I'll be going to the moon goddess, Mama, I'll be fine really!" I stand, leaving the image of myself done up for my wedding behind me. I wrap my arms around my mother gently.

"I know...I know you're going to the moon goddess. But I want you to be with me. When will you come back home? You don't visit?"

I roll my eyes. "Not on my wedding day, Mama please."

She sighs, shakes her hands, as if it's all too much, before dropping them in defeat. I've always known I'd have to sacrifice myself.

We never talk about it, the prophecy. It hangs over us like a pall, so there's no need, I suppose. I thought by now, my mother would've gotten used to the idea, but I see I was mistaken.

"Mama, remember the prophecy? In order for the pack to keep flourishing I have to join the Moon Goddess. It's what I was born to do," I smile, wiping her tears, holding her face. She's just as beautiful as she's always been.

I try not to think about how I'll never see her again. Never hear her voice. She always says this is your mother, like I'd forget her voice, her soul, anything about her. As if she were forgettable.

It's been me and her for a long time. Now...now it'll be just her. I won't be there to make sure she doesn't overpay for vegetables, or follow shady people into allies.

"Nina, when you go to the Moon Goddess, send me a sign. Send me a rainbow, or a song. Just let me know you're okay. Promise me?"

I nod softly and kiss her cheek. "I'll find a way to let you know I'm okay, Mama. I promise."

"And come home more often! You never visit!"

I sigh. "Even as a ghost mama?"

"Especially as a ghost. There's no transportation time, no commute, you don't have a job. You can just move in!" She rambles, beginning to clean around the room idly.

I don't bother telling her I'll be too busy to move back in. Being a Celestial Luna is great honor—the greatest. I'll be joining a long line of blessed Luna before me.

I put my shoulders back. A Celestial Luna. I wonder what I'll do? What I'll become? What will the moon goddess be like?

Something like dread knots in my belly, but I toss it aside as nervous jitters. I am, after all about to pledge myself to the moon goddess through death.

Death.

I pause.

"Worried?"

I shake my head at my mother behind me. "No. I...have faith."

She smiles softly. For a moment something seems different between us. She looks...happy. I smile and take her hands.

I look down. "Mom—"

She looks down at me and smiles shaking her head. "You don't have to say a word dear. I love you. I'm your mother, and I know your heart."

She turns me around and kisses my head benevolently.

"You're going home."